iDucks

Just a single one

2010-01-20T21:48:00.001+01:00

Sorry, for not posting a picture of the cockerel today. Still haven't acquired a camera to take the picture with. I just wanted to write this post to remember the most crazy dream I've had in a long time.

I remember I was in a train together with two guys from university. It was a train you slept in, for long-distance journeys, and we three shared a room. One of the guys looked like he does today, while the other looked like he maybe did 5 years ago or so, as a teenager.

We were talking about the time where we had been on fresher's week at "the huge castle". One of the guys told me that he had been lucky enough to get a sleeping spot inside the castle. I then said that I had been one of the unlucky ones in the groups that had to sleep outside in the open air (in sleeping bags) in the huge park surrounding the castle.

As I say this, I suddenly find myself in this great big park outside the castle, that we were talking about. I'm in my sleeping bag, and as I wake up and get out of the bag, I feel a bit annoyed that I have to sleep outside. I walk a bit around and I find that it's now night, and there's a party going on. I enter the castle which is huge, but cosy (more like a big building than an actual stone castle). I walk around in the corridors without any real destination, I think. But then I realise it's time to leave with the train.

Now I'm back in the train again. But as I lay there in my bed on the train, the ground floor underneath suddenly disappear and I see we are driving extremely high above the ground, on a sort of traffic overpass. for trains. Sort of like rails suspended over a busy motorway. I don't exactly feel safe about this. If we fall down from our beds, we'll fall right through and about 100 metres down to the ground. I know this is normal for trains, but I still ask the others "why does it HAVE to do this?".

When I say this, a floor appears. But it's not a normal floor. It's more like a permanent floor which is stable relative to the TRACKS! Meaning that the train is actually driving over a non-moving floor. Which is complete with tables and drawers and everything. But it's rushing by quite quickly obviously. We get annoyed, because it's really dangerous to get down from our beds and go to the toilet. We might get crushed by the moving tables going against the opposite wall. To me it looked like the tables and floor were simply appearing out of one wall of our sleeping cabin, moving to the other end of the room, and disappearing there. It was quite an eerie effec, which I thought of as completely natural.

Soon, however, our train makes a halt, and we're allowed outside to stretch our legs. As I go outside a get a bit separated from the others and go down a short alley I find. At the end some small patches of grass. And on these patches reside a lot of lazy birds. But two of them appear dead. A sort of yellow, quite fat and cute one, and another that looks a bit like a chicken. I feel sorry for them and went to help them. So I go and right them up (they were lying down). At first I'm annoyed that nothing happens, but then I realise that they're simply moving sideways (walking straight up a tree for example). One of them walks straight into the interior of a bus, and I feel happy for it, because now I know it will be taken care of by the people there (who were also from the trip - they just are taking a bus instead of the train). The other bird stays with the others in a little but more normal semi-upright position (it was standing on a grass mound, so it was standing about 30 degrees more slanted than usual).

But now it's time for the trains and buses to leave! The bus leaves in front of me, but I know I wasn't on the bus so I don't stress, but I know I have to get to the train. As I get to the platform though, the train leaves right in front of me. I fly to the door (yes, I often simply leap into the air, and fly after stuff in my dream), but when I reach the door handle it slips out of my hand (for some reason my hands are slippery). The train then speeds away, and I know I can't fly any faster. Yet.

I realise that this is a dream then. So I decide that, if I close my eyes, I can move time backwards. I blink, and sure enough the train is back where it was. But once I fly for it, it speeds up. I repeat this a couple of times, but the train keeps speeding up right before I reach it and getting away. I realise that it's simple not possible for me to catch the train in this way, since it's not meant to be. The universe remembers that I didn't catch the train there, so I won't be able to.

Instead I decide to fly along over the city following the tracks. Soon I reach the most amazing structure I have ever dreamt about in any dream. It's unlike anything I have ever seen before. It's supposed to be a sort of huge traffic crossing. But it's in many different colours according to what road you've taken into the crossing, it's comprised of over 10 roads intersecting, it's floating in the air and gravity doesn't work in it. The cars and trains are arriving from all possible 3-dimensional directions. It looks sort of like a huge complicated ball of string. But with sleekly coloured roads leading into it, and ingeniously fitting together so as to create a navigationable network. It really is hard to describe, I was speechless when I woke up afterwards :P. You should have been there! Or maybe you were..

As I watch, the train enters a light green ramp and is lost in the middle of the crossing, which I can't see. I follow the green road from above but I somehow become distracted. And then suddenly I can't find it any more. The roads more look like strands to me now since I'm quite high up. I lose my spirits a bit and descend to the bottom of the structure.

Here I find a big ramp which sort of looks like a water slide that you find in water theme parks. And sure enough, when I look up, I see that the bottom of the huge structure is meant to be a water slide for kids. I don't know why, but the start of the water slide seems to be much higher up, than where you are allowed to enter it. I remember thinking that it's a necessary precaution.

As I once again take flight, I come to another curious structure. It looks sort of like a windsock (you know, those red and white coloured, cone-shaped pieces of cloth that you find at airports and such, which tell you the wind direction), and is directly connected to one of the coloured road-"strands". As I watch a sort of cone-shaped object enters the sock. And as it does a change comes over the strand. Like a wave, the colours of the strand change to bright yellow. I realise that this is done so that you can't simply follow one strand with the eye. The colours change periodically. And I know that yellow is the right colour for finding the train. So I chase after it.

Then my dreams become muddy, and I soon wake up.

Happy New Year

2010-01-02T18:05:00.000+01:00

So, it's the 1st of January today. Entering the new year, end of the 00's, beginning of the 10's. It sounds kind of weird.

I had a nice enough Christmas in Norway. Got nice presents, had lots of fun with my Norwegian cousins and got fed so much food you wouldn't believe it. Weird how grandparents always want you to eat non-stop :P. My Norwegian family was also a bit obsessed with calling me "the poor student" and giving me money, food and nearly everything they thought I remotely needed. One of the last days, I told my grandmother I really liked a picture she had put up in her kitchen of a rooster. It took 5 minutes, then she had the picture packed into a protective wrap and gave it to me as a present. I was a bit shocked, but very happy. I really like the picture =).

It was a bit too cold in Norway for me though. The day we left it was -20 degrees, and that temperature made your eyes hurt because it was so cold. Not exactly enjoyable.

Also finished reading the book "The Game". It was quite good, but really not what I had expected actually. When I first heard of it, I thought it would be some kind of "how-to" guide for getting girls, but it was more like a personal story of how that kind of community came to be, and how it got way out of control for quite a few people. There are very few mentions of actual techniques that these kind of pick-up societies use, and the book focuses way much more on personal relationships and the pursuit of true happiness. At the same time, it's pretty cool that the author has actually experienced all the things written about in the book - it's a true story.

After having returned home from Norway, I went with three friends to see a sort of Christmas play in the amusement park Tivoli in Copenhagen. It was fun, but not that special. It contained mostly lame comedy, and it was nothing compared to the play I saw earlier this year.

Slept at one of the guy's places afterwards because I was a bit stressed out by my parents who were (and still are) living with me in my apartment while they're in Denmark for New Year. I don't like that I have to sleep in my own living room because there's not enough space without them both sleeping in my normal bed. But well, it was all right, even though he did annoy me a bit like he usually does. Maybe I was just really, really tired, because I hadn't slept well for many days. And it didn't make it better that the guy snores and literally moans in his sleep. And when I suddenly wake up and find him sitting up in his bed staring right into my face I was a bit freaked out to put it mildly. When I asked "what the hell are you doing?" he looked really confused and said "argh, I.. mumble, mumble.." and then he turned over and didn't say a word. Weird, to say the least.

New Year was quite nice. First had a dinner together with two friends. It was really good. We all got very drunk and had some quite weird and personal conversations. I learned a lot of private stuff, and I told a lot myself too. It was a very happy atmosphere though. I was very drunk that night, and there are still things that suddenly come back to me. I normally don't forget what has happened during a night, but this time a few things are a bit misty.

I remember one of the guys suddenly handing me his phone and telling me "My sister wants to talk to you". I was like "what the fuck", but it was true. The guy had called her to wish her happy new year. But the first thing she had told him was: "I want to speak to _my name goes here_". Quite funny :P. She didn't want to say anything serious, she just wanted to ask how I was doing and wish me happy new year. I was kind of surprised though. Seriously, I've only ever said hi to her once. But it's still kind of cool :P. Couldn't help feeling a bit proud of myself for nothing in particular xD.

When the time was around 1 o'clock or so, we headed towards a college where another friend of mine had invited us to a party. It was quite a bit away though, and we were very drunk. That friend had called me a few times because it was getting quite late, and I remember agreeing that we wouldn't go to sleep that night. I think agreements like that are cursed. I have only once made an agreement like that before, and it ended with me throwing up and kind of fainting. It nearly happened again this time.

As we headed towards the bus stop where we thought we could get the bus that went near his college, spirits were high and we were all very pleasantly drunk, heh. The weather was insanely cold though. Anyway, after having stood there talking for quite a while we suddenly realise that the bus doesn't stop at this stop. Yep. So we proceed to walk/run/waddle to the next stop. The running was NOT a good idea. The two others needed to buy some stuff at a petrol station that was near the stop, so we took a halt there. And I started feeling queasy. Real nauseous. Not fun.

I did not throw up. But god damn it was close. Just this part is really difficult for me to remember, because that was probably my most drunk moment of the night. I didn't have any more beer or alcohol for the rest of the night. I luckily know where my limit is =). Somehow we decide to take a taxi instead, because it takes forever to wait for the bus and it's insanely cold. I discover that I have wet pockets in my coat, because somehow I have spilt beer in my own two pockets. I still do not understand how it happened.

We arrive at the college in drunken states, and I really feel like just going to bed. But it doesn't happen; my friend doesn't allow it :P. We HAD made an agreement not to go to bed, he tells me. And he won't allow me to go :P. So I just wait around for a little while until I finally start feeling all right again. After that I can finally be more normal, and I do have a lot of fun. I remember dancing, playing ping-pong (very weird) and table football and lots of talking to people. At some later time the two friends I had come with leave, but I stay for a while longer. Together with my friend and another of his friends, we're among the last few to leave. I'm so happy it was only about 100 metres to bed =).

I don't remember how I slept, but I didn't get THAT much sleep, I remember. Next day I helped clean the place we had been the night before. I generally felt queasy nearly the whole day, and I do not feel like drinking any time soon. Kind of too bad that our annual university Christmas dinner is next week :/..

Today (Saturday - I wrote this blog post over two days) I started working a bit again. My dad and me created a budget for me in Excel, so I can see how much I earn and have in expenses each month. It's pretty useful to see how much I can spend if I want to.

Tomorrow I'm taking a complete free day (I'll work a bit too of course, but my main priority is relaxing).

I also just found out that Google is launching their own iPhone-like telephone: The Nexus One. It looks really cool, and people are saying that it's going to be the true competitor to the iPhone.

Are you a friend of the hidden society?

2009-12-21T01:22:00.001+01:00

Yay, it's nearly Christmas now. I'm looking forward to going to Norway and spending some time with my family there. Exams are well over and they went well. I feel a bit weird about things though. This vacation didn't come as that big an elation as I had hoped. I still have two days to prepare for the trip to Norway, and I need to buy one more Christmas present as well as wrapping up the other gifts I bought.

This may sound weird, but I'm actually looking a lot forward to going to Australia, if I'm accepted. I miss the different culture from my old school. Talked on the phone today with a girl from my old class who studies in London. She told me that they have a very different mentality there. Plus they're all my age. It should be the same in Australia.

Another reason I want to go, is that I'm a bit tired of some people at my university. And two of my friends seem to be considering switching courses and taking medicine instead. I really hope that they decide against it. With such a small amount of people in our course it's bad if people switch. I already had two other friends change over to medicine, and there's a limit to how many personalities that I can become friends with.

Events these past many days: Not a whole lot. Went to a nice dinner with a group from my university this Friday. And yesterday went to the annual Christmas dinner of our bar group. I got very drunk, and had lots of fun. I was one of the last three people to leave =). I remember really weird things happening. Like a Christmas tree suddenly appearing on top of a guy's head at 2 o'clock in the night, and dancing around in our university canteen singing Christmas songs. I'm a bit sad that there were some girls who could all remember my name and even though they told me their names too, I just couldn't remember when one of them asked me later. She got quite upset at that, and I was like "argh" afterwards. I don't like when stuff like that happens.

There's been a lot of snow here these days. It's nice when the wind isn't blowing, but it becomes way too cold when it is. A few days ago I experienced something really weird. A kind of midnight sunshine. But the light didn't come from the Sun. It was kind of really bright, golden moonlight being reflected by the snow. At 3 o'clock in the night it was brighter outside than it is during the day. It was really weird and cool. I just sat in my room and watched it for almost half an hour.

I also had a strange and exciting experience. I was once very interested in the phenomenon of astral travel, and still am to a lesser extent. Astral travel is a type of out-of-body experience. It involves you consciously deciding to "separate" from your body before falling asleep. If you can do it, you can travel around in a kind of parallel plane called the astral plane. Here you can fly, teleport and move through things and stuff. It's said to be a really impressive experience. Well, whether you believe it's a real plane or not, there's substantial evidence that the phenomenon can be experienced. And I really don't care whether it's just a hallucination or a real out of this world magic thing.

There exist a number of techniques out there to reach the goal of actually leaving your body. By leaving your body, it's not literally stepping out of your body, of course - it's more like your consciousness leaving your body and being free. It's said that your consciousness takes the shape of a silvery body much like your own (but with some minor differences) and that it's attached to your real, physical body, through a silver cord attached to you. It might seem dangerous, but really, it's not. The minute you start worrying about if it's dangerous, or if you can't get back, you re-enter your body and wake up.

I've had very limited success with these techniques in the past. Actually no real success to be honest. I always end up falling asleep when using them. I have had episodes where I just accidentally entered states that are "pre-astral travel" though. These are really weird. I've had two types so far. In one of them you suddenly can see the room you're in even though you know your eyes are closed. You can't really move either and it's as if you have no body. You aren't asleep, but not awake either. It's sort of like a mix between the two. I usually wake up pretty quickly from this, and afterwards curse myself because I didn't use the chance to advance the state into a real astral projection.

The other state is kind of scary and I have only tried that a very few times. In this experience you suddenly see very clearly around you, as if your eyes are open. But you can't move at all, and it feels like there's a heavy pressure everywhere around you. It might seem like you're not breathing and it feels like you're fainting non-stop. It's a feeling of very light-headedness and not being able to do or say anything. The first time I had this experience I wondered if I was dying or something, and it was really scary. Panicking is what makes me wake up those times. The really weird thing comes when you open your eyes and see exactly the same as you saw when you had your eyes closed and as you slowly realise you can move yourself again.

A few weeks ago though, I third kind of experience, and that's the closest I've ever come to an astral projection. I had taken a midday nap. And for some reason the dream was EXTREMELY lucid. I was very much aware of myself and my mind wasn't clouded like it usually is, when you're dreaming. I remember running across a huge field with a really bright and warm sun shining above me. I see everything in great detail, feel the warmth as if it was real and I can hear my footsteps perfectly. I actually thought that inside the dream. I knew I was half-asleep, and that my mind was slipping to the state of becoming unaware it's a dream.

But suddenly I came to a cross-roads. I had the choice of taking the right path into a cool, dark forest (it didn't feel scary at all though), or the left past into a bright, sunny village. I instantly think: "I'm going to go into the forest because I love dreams taking place in forests - plus it's what I should do". But then suddenly I decide to go to the village instead, because I feel really happy in the sunshine. I'm pretty sure, that if I had chosen the forest, I would have lost myself in the dream and slipped away from this lucid state.

As I turn left a thought suddenly occurs to me: "This is about time to go astral travelling". The instant I think this something REALLY weird happens. Suddenly my viewpoint zooms away from the ground and I watch myself standing in the field from really high up. Then it becomes really dark, and it doesn't feel like I'm dreaming any more. I'm still asleep though. Then suddenly I reach the stage that comes right before you leave your body. You feel something called the "vibrations". There's a lot of talk about how it feels on the internet. I can't really explain it. It's sort of like a very real tingling sensation in your whole body - as if it was charged full of electricity. When I started feeling that, I thought: "Shit, I'm not prepared for this - it's actually happening". And then of course I became scared, and opened my eyes. I cursed myself for letting yet another chance pass me by and then tried to reach the state again but failed.

It's funny that I always have these experiences during afternoon naps, and never at night. It's probably because it's much easier to reach that half awake half asleep state, when you're not mentally prepared for a full night's sleep. I hope that one day, though, I'll succeed in performing a full astral projection. I think it depends a lot on luck for me. I'm very bad at visualising, and a lot of the techniques normally used for inducing the heightened state before sleep requires you to imagine certain images in your head. And I just can't seem to do that.

Well, that'll be all for today. Hopefully I'll start updating this blog regularly again, now that I'm finished with that insanely intensive course. Lastly, I'm giving you a picture to think a bit about. It's not a faked photo, and the English translation accurately reflects what is written in Japanese next to it (I translated it just to check). And no, hehe, it's not a joke or some kind of theme park attraction.

I like to make myself believe

2009-11-22T02:52:00.001+01:00

Wow, it's been nearly a month since my last post. That must mean I've been lazy, I guess.

Well, it's not entirely true. I've just been so damn busy with university. This course "Cell Biology" is kind of a nightmare. You need to read in three different books all the time, do exercises non-stop, prepare for classes and experiments plus write lab reports. This course contains both cell anatomy, biophysics, biochemistry, histology, a bit of signal transduction and genetics in one single bumper version of doom. We have no holidays until Christmas and our last holiday was the summer vacations. There's also no free time before the exams, so we have absolutely no time to read besides the exercises and lab reports we have to do all the time. And did I tell you we have three exams? Yep, first a 4-hour mix-mash exam of all the aforementioned subjects minus genetics. Then a 2-hour genetics exam and finally a 20-minute practical microscopy exam, where we have to diagnose 10 different tissues just by looking at it for 2 minutes through the microscope (example: "This is an exocrine seromucuous merocrine gland with endocrine islets containing trabecular structure"). It'll be quite a mouthful. And it all starts the day after my birthday.. Meaning the day everyone is most stressed including myself, will be this day. I've heard it said by older students that 40% of all students attending this course, fail. Goddamn it.

So I've started reading every day, as much as possible. It takes about one hour to read 20 pages in one of the books, so it's seriously tough going. I'm rarely this serious with studying. I didn't use to have to really study much to do well before. I guess the difficulty is finally catching up :P.

I've also become a fan of a band called "Owl City". The first song I heard by the was this one. I also like their song "Vanilla Twilight" and "Saltwater Room" a whole lot.

What have I done other than school-related stuff lately? Not a whole lot to be honest. I've been to the theatre, an art exhibition, a board game night and a LAN night. I also went to a huge anime convention with two friends from my Japanese course. There I bought a hood with cat ears. Pictures from there can be found on Facebook for those who know me. I've been to the cinema to watch "Inglorious Basterds", been to two parties and applied for half a year of studying in Australia.

I've also had the nastiest virus ever, which had me resulting in having to reinstall Windows. And then discovering that it had managed to copy itself to my external harddrive and infect the pc once again. It was one of the worst virus types around, I discovered. The type is called Virut; it copies itself to all other programs it can find (so even stuff like your own antivirus or your task manager begin creating the virus). And it's polymorphic - changing itself all the time. Luckily I managed to stop it the second time around before all hell broke lose (again). And my pc is back to reinstalled normal. Good thing I have all the important stuff backed up. Probably all my passwords are compromised now.. Meh.

Well, I'm off to bed after this rather meek post. Tomorrow I have the final lab report of this course to write. It's about our gene manipulation experiment. Yay..

I'll find something interesting to write about once this is all over!!

It's getting cold outside

2009-10-25T20:51:00.001+01:00

Wow, I've been neglecting this place a bit lately it seems (two weeks since last post). It's not like that many huge things have happened anyway. I'm tired almost every day, and I don't get a lot done other than school related stuff. There's still tons of working on reports and trying to catch up with the reading to be done.

My dream log helped me finally get less vivid dreams, so I'm a bit less drained when waking up. I've had a few dreams since my last entry, but I haven't really had the energy or time to write it all down, since the dreams are usually complex and long. I remember the one from this night, for example, but it was in two "chapters" and would be way too long to write down.

I got some really, really huge bills this month (let's just say that if I had no income at all this month I would have to pay my total savings simply in bills), so I'm getting a loan. It's not really that I can't afford to pay the bills (since I DO have an income) but it's a way of saving up for my (hopeful) half-year trip to Australia next autumn. A good things with bills is that I have now learned to keep my electricity usage down (advice: do NOT use electric floor heating unless you're prepared to quadruple your energy bill).

Of noteworthy events these past weeks are:

Going to the theatre to watch a kind of "theatre concert", which was really cool.
Learning that some of the things we study are governed by quantum mechanic laws meaning we can only change something "with a certain probability". For example a certain membrane gate that only opens when certain conditions are met, might suddenly open anyway, just for the heck of it - I like the idea that the probability of seemingly impossible things are more than 0.
Watching Inglorious Basterds in the cinema with two friends.
Writing a secret coded email that could result in a cake or three beers.
Biking to Japanese class with a huge chocolate cake (I really, really love those Japanese classes).
Reconsidering some people from university.
Getting addicted to this ridiculous song: LINK HERE
Had a meeting with my employers where I got a new task, I will be doing for some time now. It's not the most interesting of tasks, but it's easy, and I won't have to think about what I'm doing, so it's alright. And the pay is the same, so I won't complain :P. The meeting took over 3 hours, of which about 2,5 were spent just talking about random stuff and hearing stories of their time working at hospitals. It was really nice. Some of the stories were really unbelievable :P.

I've become a bit tired of all the work lately, and it's become harder and harder for me to pull myself together and read in our huge cell biology book. I've also put in a lot of effort in the report writing. Perhaps more than I should have. Although I let the others in their group do their part, I always end up reading through their part so thoroughly that I understand everything better than the ones who do the part. It's hard work, but rewarding in the end I guess, because it's really good preparation for the exams. This way I also can help them point out where they make mistakes and explaining to others is the best way to learn things for yourself.

Now for something else. Have you ever wondered if people really think like you? Perhaps they're just there for you, and you're the only person in the world that really thinks. They would be kind of like robots, and would be nothing but an outside shell reacting like machines. Insanely complicated machines maybe, but still just following a strict program. Would that then mean, that since there were no thoughts behind people, that your actions would have no true consequences?

No, of course not. It wouldn't make a difference if everyone actually were robots. We have no way to tell if people actually think like we do. But just the idea that people are actually robots is enough to make us feel like what we do wouldn't matter. It frees our conscience to imagine that other people just react to our actions by instinct, and not by conscious thought like our own. Isn't that kind of weird..

Zeitgeber

2009-10-05T00:21:00.001+02:00

Well, now it's October. And it's getting really cold outside once again. I'm not exactly happy about it. And it doesn't help a whole lot that it seems my room heater isn't working properly. It just seems to not turn on. And it's a water radiator, so it isn't just so easy to fix. Well, I'll wait until next week to go and complain to my apartment complex' janitor.

This week was eventful indeed. I managed to bake a cake for my Japanese class, and they liked it. It was a bit stressful to actually go and fetch the cake. The day before I had submitted my application for studying half a year in Australia (I'll get the answer sometime in December), and to celebrate it we went to our university bar to get a beer before going home. Somehow we ended up playing games and suddenly it was kind of late. I hurried to the bus stop, where I soon understood that the bus had been early, and had not waited. So I had to wait 20 minutes for the next bus. I ran all the way home from the bus stop, grabbed the cake I had made the day before. Then I ran to the train station. Took the train to Copenhagen again and hurried to class. I was 5 minutes late, but the cake made up for it. I was kind of exhausted at that point, so I wasn't exactly brilliant in class. But well, it was only my second class on the advanced course, so I think it's alright.

At the end of the lesson we get a Japanese essay for homework. This was kind of crazy, and I liked it. I've already done the essay now. It's really a nice idea to think I've become good enough to write short Japanese essays. It's not something I would have imagined a few years ago =). I'll spare you the posting of that essay here. Suffice is to say that it's about a girl from Thailand named Sally, and that she likes looking at stars on Sunday nights, when she isn't studying or sleeping.

It's been some really tough days lately. Up at 6.30 and home late. This Friday went from 6.30 to 5 or so the next morning. Yep, lessons at the university from 8 to 16 first. We were kind of smashed, and there was to be this huge October party at our university bar later so our minds were really drifting. I hate having classes on Fridays anyway :P.

All the boys from our year had planned a really huge lunch. And we had all brought tonnes of food. Seriously, I don't even think we managed to eat half it. But it was really cool, and so much fun. We had speeches and sung dinner songs and lots of people smiled and laughed at us, hehe. We even had our own T-shirts that someone had brought for us :P. Afterwards we went to the medicine university bar and had a single beer before our last classes for that day (we had no classes from 12 to 14, so this was when we had the huge lunch). The medicine university bar was completely packed already there at 13.30, it was kind of crazy. Everyone were drinking like it was midnight or something, even while the sun was shining through the windows. It was kind of weird. Someone had brought packets of biscuits, and we played a completely ridiculous game with those biscuits, where you had to see how many of them you could stuff into your mouth without swallowing. It was hilarious, because you couldn't swallow the biscuits because they completely dried out your mouth. So you're stuck with a mouth full of dry biscuits that you can't do anything with in the end. And you're nearly throwing up because they're poking the back of your throat. Not surprisingly the floor was completely littered with biscuit crumbs afterwards. But it was fun :P..!

After the last lesson I went home to get some much needed sleep for about 1 hour before going to the October party. I didn't even manage to get any dinner. I met up at the station with a friend from university and we had a beer on our way to the bar. It was packed. And people were drunk. Not surprisingly. They had been selling half a litre of German beer for 5kr. (about 0,7€) in the afternoon. It was crazy. They had sold shitloads of beer, and had even had queues outside the bar. It wasn't that surprising though, we had done a lot of PR for this event (I had helped hang up posters everywhere all over the Northern University Campus - and others had gone around handing out flyers while dressed up as traditional Germans in beer festival costumes).

The friend I had gone with was worried that we wouldn't have fun, because we were still sober while the others were quite drunk. But I told him not to worry. And we really didn't have to either. I immediately enjoyed myself, even when not having drunk anything. Maybe I was just hyper from lack of sleep, but everyone were so happy and I couldn't help but feel just as happy myself. As the evening progressed I got some beer drunk myself of course, but I think I actually just paid for about one small flask beer myself. People just gave me beer all the time, it was crazy. The girl I had been together with some time ago was also at this party. And we ended up being together again :P. I don't really know what to think of it.

Heh, there were a lot of funny episodes that night. I remember having to go the toilet and two guys from my year suddenly come running shouting my name again and again while hugging me in a huge group hug while we're jumping up and down, haha. I remember a guy I had never seen before asking me if we could go pee together, hearing about how some of the new freshmen had been driven to the hospital after an accident (concerning jumping down stairs in a sort of stupid competition) and another one had had a street lamp fall onto him while walking outside. I also remember an episode where me and the girl, I was together with, sat talking to two new freshmen at a table. At some point we began kissing and after a few seconds it suddenly became quiet from the two others and when we looked back afterwards the two freshmen were also suddenly kissing. We couldn't stop laughing at that. It somehow seemed like they just wanted to follow our example xD.

I had a shift in the bar from midnight to two o'clock in the night, and boy was it busy. I've never made so many drinks before, and I've begun to really like it. It's actually great fun. At the beginning I was hesitant to mix drinks, because I could never find the right bottles. But I'm getting better to recognise them, and enjoying putting the stuff together.

At around 4 o'clock I took the bus home with a friend. The bus didn't go all the way to his own town because it was so late, so he ended up sleeping over at my place. Before going to sleep though, we went and had a kebab at a place right next to my apartment that I didn't even know was open that late. It was truly delicious. I had never tasted kebab before, and he smiled quite a lot at that. Quite a lot of people tend to smile at me when I tell them I have never tasted kebab before. But now I have!

The next day I didn't have a hangover. But I was very much tired. So I slept insanely long. I think I slept until 12:00. Then I went to bed at 13:00 again. Slept until 15:00. Then slept again from 16:00 to 18:00. Then I bicycled to a friend's dorm through completely torrential rain and near-zero temperature. When I arrived I was soaked like a drowned mouse. Well, we then ate dinner, and played computer with a whole lot of other guys until 5:30 the next morning. Yes, I realise that this is a very weird turn of the story. I then bicycled home while watching the slow sunrise and freezing my ass off. At least it wasn't raining.

The next morning I woke up at 15:00. My circadian rhythm is now completely fucked up. It's around midnight now, and I finally feel completely energised. But I just can't get myself to read any cell biology. It really requires a lot of energy. I'm now three weeks behind with reading, and I really don't like it..

Tomorrow is up again at 6.30 for another long day. Goddamn it.

100th post

2009-10-04T22:48:00.000+02:00

Hi there! Are you alright? You don't look so good. I was kind of wondering if you could do something for me though. Please? Can you make me a drink? It should contain a bit of friendliness and sincerity and be consistent without any regrets where applicable. It's important that it makes you smile and laugh and forget yourself. You can't do that, you say? Well, what can you do then? Ah, that's better. Thank you for your time. See you around, maybe!

Together wisdom go for it, please!

2009-09-24T00:19:00.006+02:00

Goddamn it I'm exhausted. I finally finished going through all of the stuff I had to do today at around 23:00. That's hell of a long day.

I'm still way behind with reading. But I think I can make it. These next weeks aren't that tough concerning the amount we have to read. I do have to do a report on a biophysics experiment we did about membranes for next Thursday, but I have it under control. I find it quite easy and natural to understand. So that's good =)!

Another thing is my Japanese. My Japanese teacher made me do a Japanese test. I had to translate written sentences from Danish into Japanese. For example one of the sentences was this one: "My friend is holding a party tomorrow together with her younger sister". The translation is: Watashi no tomodachi wa imouto-san to ashita paati o shimasu (literally: me (possessive marker) friend (topic marker) little sister (the -san ending then changes it to another's little sister) ('also included' marker) tomorrow party (object marker) make). NOT exactly easy, eh??

But I did alright! And now I've just skipped a whole year. And I'm at level 2. And wow, it's tough. The first lesson today was kind of 'what the fuck, what am I doing here' :P. But luckily I learnt quickly and during the second half of the lesson I started answering questions and stuff too. The teacher was really evil, hehe. She kept asking me to read out my answers for the class. But I did alright and didn't answer (much) wrong. And I now have tons of homework for next week. There are a lot of words I need to brush up on, and our teacher even gave us a Japanese cross-words we have to do for next lesson. Intensive, but nice!

That team is way nicer than my old one. Much more fun people. And I made a new friend there too :D! He lived quite close to me, so we took the train back home together and we talked a lot. Fun, fun. He studies software enginerring at a place called DTU (The Danish Techical University). And I promised to bring a cake with me next time. I'll be sure to keep that.

I also went to a meeting today at our university bar. It was a kind of introduction to all the new prospective voluntary workers. We heard some short speeches about the different aspects of the work we do there, as well as played a fun game where us, who had worked there for some time, were blindfolded and then had to be guided around to different places of the bar by the new ones. I managed not to fall, and my "team" (each 'oldie' each had two 'newbies') had fun, so success ^^!

Tomorrow I have no lessons. Well, except a course that's supposed to help you understand biophysics better, but I don't really need that. But I do have a few things that day anyway. Washing (needed! I think my washing machine dream had to do with that, actually), a 7-hour shift in the bar and finishing the stuff I need for my application to the Australian university I'm applying for.

The Continuous Dream

2009-09-21T16:07:00.013+02:00

Just a quick post here.

In the recent development of my constant dreaming, I've finally decided to do a dream log. I've heard that writing down what you dream every time you remember is both healthy and fun. And it should also be fun for myself to read later on, I guess. If all goes well it'll also lead to more frequent lucid dreaming, which is of course always fun (lucid dreams are dreams where you are able to consciously control what happens). You can find the link on the right (under "Other blogs") or click here.

I've also added a sort of "reaction" comment thing underneath each post. So if you won't bother leaving a comment, you can at least put a checkmark in the box saying if you found the post funny, cool, boring, interesting, weird, stupid, clever or all of the above.
EDIT: I can't get that stupid thing to show more than three options, and I have a headache after looking through all that html coding to try and find the problem. Until I fix it I will just give three options to choose from. Weird, stupid/boring and cool. That should about cover every possible feeling you might have towards the post after having read it.

There's also a nifty little search box on the right if you for some weird reason want to search for just that special post that you can't quite remember the weird title of, but would like to read anyway.

Quietly bouncing up and down

2009-09-20T03:10:00.004+02:00

I'm really tired. No wonder, really, since it's 3 o'clock at night. Once again another Saturday gone by. Once again, I managed to read an impressive 0 pages. And once again, I have a lot of reading to look forward to tomorrow :P..

This week has been unremarkable in the occurrences of chronic weird dreams. I still remember my dreams every single time I sleep and they're as weird as ever. A few days ago, I dreamt I was a Russian paparazzi photographer who had learnt how to stop time by a special hand movement. I won't recount the plot of the dream (yeah, this one actually had one) but it had to do with global conspiracies, robots and me saving the world from a would-be dictator.

Believe it or not, but I'm actually getting a bit tired of remembering my dreams after every time I wake up. I wake up feeling a bit drained, still thinking about the weird stuff I dreamt. I hope I'll get back to normal soon.

Yesterday (Friday) was up early for lectures, then home and sleep a bit, and then I was off to a dinner with two friends. It was a feast, I tell you. We were only three people, and I dare say we'd made enough food for at least double that amount. And the food was exquisite. It's been a little time since I ate that much good food :D.

After that glorious dinner we went to the theatre. I'd never been to the theatre before. And it was truly great. It was a comedy called "Dwindle" ("Skrump") and it's truly a long time since I've laughed that much. It was epic, and I loved every minute of it. It even had a famous Danish actor in it that I knew, and that made the experience even better.

Afterwards one of the two other friends I saw the play with had to go home, and it was only me and the other guy. We decided we would only drink a single beer and then head on home. Well, I really wanted to see a bar I had heard a lot about, called Wall Street. But we couldn't find it. So we wandered a bit around aimlessly, talking and seeing a bit of Copenhagen by night. After a while we decided to just head into the next pub/bar we saw. And that place happened to be an Irish pub called "The Dubliner". And what a cool place! Really nice area with loads of decorations and a really weird, huge, circular window in the ceiling. Plus a live band that played epicly well. And they made the best Guinness I've ever tasted. Seriously, it was good. I could have drunk ten of them. It's got to be the only beer where I actually like the foam as much as the beer. It's truly delicious if the beer is well poured. And the bird in the picture is really cool too!

And well, one beer somehow became many. We were enjoying ourselves a lot and after the first promised beer it was suggested we had another. And well, suddenly it was around 3 o'clock or so (I had no idea what time it was, but I remember getting to bed around 5 o'clock). And we were both a bit/quite/very drunk. I had left my backpack at the guy's appartment (it was the same place we had the huge dinner) so I had to go by his place first. And once I got there it was so late and he kind of commanded me to sleep over :P. I really couldn't be bothered to take the bus all the way home at that point either, so I was happy to oblige. We drank some more beer, had some cake and leftovers from the dinner, talked and watched TV.

First we watched a French TV channel. It was really weird hearing French again. It was a random program about a fishing boat in France. Afterwards we chanced upon an episode of MacGyver. It was truly ridiculous. After having seen him in a Family Guy episode I had always thought MacGyver was just a joke character, but he actually is from a serious series (haha, sounded funny). And he can seriously make weapons from the most ridiculous things. In this episode he set fire to a pine cone and tossed it under a car, and the car promptly exploded. I mean, come on. He could probably make an atom bomb from a used pencil and three bent nails.

The next morning I awoke by myself at 8 o'clock. That meant I had slept little over 3 hours. But I didn't feel tired. Just a slight hangover. On my way home I was met by quite a lot of looks. It might be connected to the fact that I was dressed way too nicely for a normal day. One good thing though, was that I now have semi-short hair, and since I use wax to mess it up, it hides morning hair really well. So I didn't look completely hopeless =).

As I came home home, I immediately went to bed and awoke about 6 hours later with one hour to spare before a friend came visiting. Change of clothes, shower etc. Then off to badminton for one and a half hours and another huge dinner. It was really nice.

I do realise that this post has been quite full of snippets. I'm just so goddamn tired, so I can't be bothered to connect things in any real meaningful way. I'm so tired I'm even starting to see things. On my way home on bicycle from the friend's place I sometimes thought I saw people in the shadows. That they might actually have been real people is another matter. It was Saturday and 2 AM, so it was absolutely possible.

Ah, well. Now I'm finally off to sleep. Hopefully I'll have a quiet night of dreams.

Beacon

2009-09-14T20:10:00.006+02:00

I'm beginning to get a little bit worried about my dreams.

I've always considered myself very good at remembering my dreams, but lately I've been able to remember my dreams every single day for over two weeks. And the bad thing isn't that I can remember it all, but that I'm beginning to confuse parts of them with reality. They're all about my life here at university at the moment. And while some of the dreams are weird (like people competing in the Guiness World Records for the title of "World's Biggest Drinker" or asking me to make them green pasta), others are way more realistic.

Just this evening I dreamt I was reading in our cell biology book. And I remember what I read. It's scary, because I don't think what I read was actually true. It had to do with gene expression being connected to a group of Rho and Ras GTPases and kinases, respectively. I mean, come on, wtf is this. What kind of sick dream is that.. Ah, well, I guess I'm finally going insane?

On another note, I got a little further in Eternal Sonata yesterday. And I have my second Japanese class tomorrow that I'm really looking forward to! I've learnt half of the katakana (one out of two Japanese phonetic alphabets) already in just this one week by practicing a bit during lectures, and I'm quite proud of that =). I'm also going to the theatre this Friday with two friends, and that's gonna be really nice. I've never been to the theatre before, so I'm sure it will be quite an experience!

This Friday I had a huge dinner at my place with a friend. It consisted of entrecôte, french fries, bernaise sauce and everything. Quite exquisite. Afterwards I was invited to a concert by a group named Infernal. I kind of wanted to go, but because I had plans the following day plus a built-up lack of sleep I decided not to go.

The following day, Saturday, I went to that birthday party. I managed to get lost twice on the way there (I travelled by bike). And on the way home again (around 1 o'clock) my GPS had somehow lost its battery, so I had to go all the way on memory. And my visual memory sucks. But anyway, I made it spectacularly well. And because of that experience, I can now find my way there again without any help :D. The birthday party was really fun too. Got to talk to a lot of people and had lots of nice (free :P) food and wine.

On a more general note. I kind of feel like I'm moving in shadows. That is to be understood that time is moving without me being able to see anything. These days are kind of fleeting. The weekends disappear, and there are not that many days I can truly single out from the others. It's weird, because new, distinct things are happening every day. I hope it's not this way it feels to become old :P. Meh.

Merlin is a protein

2009-09-09T21:14:00.030+02:00

Don't believe the title? Then look here. Kind of a ridiculous name to give a protein, but what the hell :P. I've seen worse names.

Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine for example is worse.

I couldn't even bother to colour all the 267 amino acids that make up this thing. As you can see, I gave up after colouring ten.
Luckily some clever people have decided to shorten it to tryptophan synthetase A. For which I am quite grateful.

Be happy I didn't write up the scientific name for the protein titin. That one has 189819 letters.

I've now been at university for one and a half week of my second year. And I've decided to go to Australia to Monash University for the first semester of my third year. It's quite a process to apply for this, and right now I'm going around asking teachers to write a letter of recommendation for me (which the universities need). So far I've gotten 1 out of 4, that I plan to get. By the end of this month I need to have gotten at least 2 as well as having researched exactly what courses I want to take at the university, plus writing an essay about why I should be the one to be accepted to the university. Meh.

I've also met the freshmen who started on my course this year. They seem alright, even though according to the tutors from my year, the girls (who outnumber the boys 5 to 1) are skanks. Yep. And they sure can drink :P. Last Friday I drank shots with two of them, and omg they're crazy :P. That night was generally pretty weird. I ended up missing the last night bus at 5.30 and had to take a taxi home. Never tried that before, and it wasn't especially fun. Luckily I shared with two other people, so it didn't cost me a fortune. I slept until around 4 the next day. Meaning my Saturday was kind of lost. And I can't really remember what I did Sunday. Fact is, I'm way behind with the reading. But I'm trying to catch up now.

I also had my first Japanese course yesterday. It was kind of fun. But it annoyed me that I already knew everything we were taught. And the next lesson we're having I know all the stuff as well (the use of the particle "wa" and the word "desu"). But I'll see what happens. Some of the people there were REALLY weird. So I don't feel so weird when I'm there, lol. It's also weird that nearly everyone there also knows some Japanese like me and watch anime. I'm really not used to that. And it freaked me out that an emo guy dressed entirely in black with black coloured hair who sat in front of me to the right, kept looking back at me during the class. Scary. I haven't really talked with any of the others yet, but I plan to do that next time. The trouble is that we don't really get breaks, so we don't have that much of an excuse to talk. Maybe group work will be introduced though, and that should be alright.

The first thing we had to do in the class was tell the others why we had chosen Japanese. The weirdest explanation came from a guy whose job it was to program. He told us that while he programmed he had a second screen beside him which would play television series. And since he had now watched about every long English series that existed, he had turned to Japanese anime. The only trouble was that he had trouble programming while also looking at the subtitles. So now he wanted to learn Japanese so he wouldn't have to look at the subtitles all the time. Yep.

As the last thing that I'm going to bother to recount, we had some quite weird lectures these past few days. We tested some kind of new lecturing system, where we're each given a kind of remote control, with numbers on it. During lectures, multiple choice questions suddenly pop up, and we have to press the button that we think corresponds to the answer. It's actually really fun, and makes you not fall asleep and actually listen. I really hope they're going to implement it.

Finally, I'm getting a bit tired of those annoying spam mails, that claim to give you such amazing "opportunity". I don't know how many people from Nigeria who have offered me millions, if I would just help them transfer money to some weird bank account. I've also won the British lottery about five times now, I think.

The Stranger

2009-08-27T13:53:00.007+02:00

It's been a while since my last post. A few things have happened of course.

I've been (by bike again :P) to another friend's summer house in Northern Denmark. It was lots of fun, and some really weird moments occurred. I haven't acted that weird in ages, and it was really nice to be able to act like that once again. The people I normally talk to are making me more grown up, I guess. It's much more fun to be able to act completely random. Even though I probably should not make a habit of acting that weird xD.

Also went to a birthday last Saturday. Very casual and private, but I like that way much better than huge parties and wasting yourself.

Sunday was a completely relaxed day, and on Monday I departed for a three-day camping trip in Northern Denmark again. I've been there a whole lot, I realise :P. But this time I didn't go by bike. It was the first time I've ever slept in a camper. It was a good trip. These friends are different, so this time a lot of drinking was involved. I did indeed up getting pretty drunk the last day before we went home. The first day we were all kind of tired, so nothing major happened. We played a lot of frisbee, and had a really weird walk at night along the beach towards a lighthouse. Even though it was like 5km away, we reached it.

I've never seen a lighthouse like that up close. It had this huge old-fashioned rotating prism and a central light that shone in all directions. The huge, rotating prism then directed the light into three major beams that shone really bright. It was quite fun to watch.

On the last day I got introduced to a fun drinking game, where you're supposed to kind of bound a coin into a cup, and then the next person drinks what's in the cup (beer). I got the technique nearly immediately, but since the other two had been drinking whiskey (which I don't like) I kept making myself lose on purpose.

After a little while one of the two friends who were with me on the trip suddenly became very tired. It was only around 1 o'clock. He then pronounced loudly that he would go to bed. When the other friend then said "Fuck it, I'm not going to bed, I'll drink with you (he was referring to me)", the first friend suddenly (again loudly) changed his mind. I laughed so much because it was so failed. He's supposed to be older than me :P.

Later I got into an idiotic discussion with him concerning the ability to imagine a feeling by intensifying a feeling you had already felt. For example, if you had had a burn wound in the past, would it be possible to imagine amplifying that feeling many times? I believe that is absolutely possible. He didn't. And when I told him that we would never reach an agreement in this, and that we should end the discussion (which was not a fun discussion at all since he began taking it so seriously) he went as far as to say that he had "lost all faith in me". I was like wtf. Not surprisingly, I took that quite seriously. The next day he apologised and said it was just because of his "narrow view on the world" and that it couldn't compare to my "much greater perspective". Bullshit. I still haven't decided what to do about it yet. But this much is certain: A friend would never say something like that.

Anyway, then he sort of passed out. And I sat up talking with the other guy. It was seriously nice. We opened up a lot, and before we knew it the sun had risen and it was around 6.30. Insane :P.

Next day we were all tired and pretty smashed. Me and the guy I had talked to all night were still quite tipsy. So the return trip home by train was sort of hazy. I had a bit of a hangover and I ended up having to lie down, and then I promptly fell asleep and woke around midnight. I hadn't had any breakfast, lunch or dinner. Not so much fun. And all milk I had was too old.

Then came today. Where I got my package from Sweden :D! I went up at 9:30 just to not miss it this time. And the package came. And in it was a completely new Guitar Hero controller with even included batteries. I nearly couldn't believe it. I mean, I got it completely for free. I just had to send a mail saying my controller was broken and they send me a completely new one? Without even asking me to pay postal fees or returning the broken one. I wonder what would happen if I made another request, and said the new one was broken :P. Would I get a third for free? Such a Guitar Hero controller is normally quite expensive in shops. Ah yes, the world is full of mysteries.

After receiving that package from on high, I cycled to my university to meet up with a friend and buy the third book I needed for the next half year (goddamn it I'm tired of buying expensive books). We spent some time researching a bit about what university to go to abroad for our third year. It's between Canada and Australia right now. Universities in the US require a lot of really weird information, and are really a pain to get accepted into. It's a pity, because I really wanted to go there.

I also got to see the freshmen which are starting on our course this year. It was quite fun to remember back at how it had been when I myself was a freshman. Got to say hi to a few of them and talked a bit with a guy who apparently is 18 and comes from France where he also went to an international school. Just like me. He actually reminded me of myself. When he learnt I came from Belgium, he even asked if I wanted to speak French. I would have asked that a year ago too :P.

And here I am now. I think I've done alright. The future right now looks a bit meek, but I trust that nothing is entirely what it seems.

Darkness of white

2009-08-15T21:44:00.014+02:00

I've been reading a lot lately. Some Discworld novels actually. They're quite fun to read, and I love the random "breaking the norm" way they're written in.

I've also been working a lot (and so earning money, yay :D). On Tuesday I went down to the main office to fetch some special envelopes which I needed as part of my current "tasks" (which consist of sending approval letters to patients, who've been accepted for early examinations before operations - it's not as easy as it may sound :P). Well, I was approached by my boss who told me: "We would like to ask you to do some more difficult work for us." I was like: "YEAH!!". And it turned out I was FINALLY to start the translating job, I had applied for at the very beginning. It consist of "translating" from medical terms into layman's terms. For example, I translate such terms as "nerve root blocking", "cerebral palsy" or "neuropsychological examination" (it's all in Danish of course). It requires a lot of research, its very much relevant to my study, I learn from it and I get paid for each and every minute I use. I love it. And I still keep my much easier (in comparison) side job of sending patient approval letters. Which I, of course, also get paid for.

On a more annoying note scale (once you've played Eternal Sonata for Xbox 360 for a while you seriously start thinking about every annoying thing that reminds you of music - seriously, the characters you can control in the game are named March, Salsa, Allegretto, Beat, Falsetto, Polka, Claves, Viola, Jazz, Crescendo, Serenade and oh yes, Frédéric) I got a ridiculously huge heat bill this month. Believe me, it's blown out of all proportions. I normally pay a little bit each month towards the heat bill, and at the end of the year (which for some reason seems to be sometime in july) they check to see if I paid too much or too little compared to how much I consumed. And it seems that during the winter I heated enough to raise the temperature worldwide by a degree. It's ridiculous, and I've also sent a complaint to the company to get them to check this. I was very, very careful with how much heat I used. I nearly only used my bedroom heating system and not the one if my living room. And guess what, the bill shows that my living room heated over three times as much as my bedroom. Make sense? No. Anyway, I hope this all gets sorted out.

I watched Godfather I yesterday, since I had never seen it before. I hadn't expected it to be so long, but it was really, really good. I'm going to watch the other two over the next few days.

Have you ever heard about a plant called Salvia Divinorum, or Sage of the Seers? I just heard about it today. It seems it's this really weird plant that can give you some very special hallucinations and experiences if you smoke/chew it. And it's totally safe. There's no side effects, you can't get addicted and you can't die of an overdose or anything. It was used in the past by Aztecs and Indians for spiritual insights and experiences. It's said by a lot that it's the only herb in the world which is termed "existentia" meaning that it somehow provides experiences concerning the very act of existance. I'm not exactly sure what it means, but I heard of a guy experiencing a white room, where a machine kind of "stapled" reality to a globe which was supposed to be our Earth. This plant is also unlike the other hallucinogens that exist. It's not for parties, not made for groups and not a "fun" drug as such. It's said that you will respect the plant after having tried it the first time. The real high of taking the plant starts after 5 seconds and lasts five minutes if you smoke it, and starts after 30 minutes and lasts up to one hour if you chew the leaves. That's not long. But it's said that the experiences are well worth it anyway. While under the effect you normally simply let yourself lie down with your eye closed in a half-dark room. It's said that light will make the experience quite confusing. If you get the most vivid experiences, which are said to be the best, there's a chance you might walk around the room a bit like a sleepwalker, and that's why many suggest having a sitter with you the first few times. They're supposed to help you by gently guiding you around the room (so you don't collide with stuff) if you start walking around.

Anyway, it's a pity that the plant is beginning to become illegal. It got banned here in Denmark as of 2004, so it's relatively new. It's still legal in the UK for example. It seems that some people tried driving while under the influence of it (wtf..). So yeah, it's a pity. It sounded like quite a harmless thing, that yet could give some quite profound experiences. I've always wanted to try something that wasn't dangerous or addictive that could give you an experience out of this world (they say that the ultimate effect is the feeling of becoming one with the world and knowing Everything). I've also always wondered how it might be to hallucinate.

The closest I've ever gotten was when I was sick. Although that was quite a horrible experience that I never, ever want to try again. It had to do with feeling feelings like pain in a sort of 4th physical dimension which was swirling all around me, while I felt like I was continuously falling sideways and thinking that medicine would not work on everyone because of displacements of that 4th dimension, since noone could ever get close enough to the same locations in that dimension. Yeah, it was fucked up, and scary.

Now I'll go and play a bit of Eternal Sonata. I'm currently in Aria Temple waiting for prince Crescendo of Baroque City to reach a decision about whether or not he will support the resistance group of Andantino in an attack on Count Waltz. Because Count Waltz is distributing mineral powder (mineral powder?) mined from Mt. Rock which turns people into mindless soldiers to fight for him, so his nation of Forte can become supreme. Oh, and by the way, that guy on the right is Frédéric from the game. And guess what? His weapon is a baton stick. You know, the thing you use for conducting symphonies. Yep.

/Care

2009-08-09T23:26:00.003+02:00

Well, it's Sunday today. The week went by quite rapidly in fact. Work is starting to get routine, and I'm busy all the time now. It's quite nice being busy actually.

Summer house thing was actually quite fun (although the bike ride of 55km each way was a little challenging), even though I was a bit surprised at first that there was going to be a third person my age there. I'd only met the guy once before, but he was quite fun actually, although I didn't always agree with everything that happened. But that's bound to happen with three people.

After the bike ride to the summer house, I was met by two grinning faces congratulating me on a good job biking all the way there, as well as about 12 different beers, which apparently were for me to drink that night. And drunk both me and the beers got. We drank it in this huge holiday centre that had all kinds of cool facilities, but everything was kind of deserted at night. so we had it all for ourselves. It was quite cool actually. There was even a piano. And I discovered that it's actually not always so easy to remember all the notes when you're drunk. Even though I think I did alright. The next day I can't actually remember what happened other than I ate a huge ice cream which was really cheap. And that we went and found a geocache with a flashlight in the night. Quite fun. And the next day we went up early and swam in the sea (which was surprisingly not so cold after all). And then the bike trip home, which took three hours because of a strong headwind. Once I finally got home to my apartment, I was smashed.

The following day I had to get up a 9 o'clock for a badminton game with a girl my age, her younger brother and my younger brother. It was actually really fun, and me and the girl got invited to play a double with some older people, who were training that day. They won, unfortunately, but they were really good. They told me afterwards though, that they could see by my playstyle that I was really good as well, and I was quick as hell :). I was really proud of that. And I asked them for a rematch some other Saturday with my usual playing partner, and they agreed. I look forward to it.

In the afternoon a friend from university suddenly came around, and we ended up drinking a couple of beers. We had fun talking and suddenly time had passed quickly. There was this reunion in the evening with people from my old Belgian school, and I missed the train I was supposed to take. So I was 40 minutes late. But it wasn't a problem. I managed to find them in the park where we had agreed to meet. And it was loads of fun. There were quite a lot, and it was really fun seeing them again. And there was, of course, more beer. I stayed for dinner, but I didn't follow some of them to town, because I was simply exhausted and had another appointment the following day. I was home a bit past midnight.

Sunday, today, was sunny, and meeting up with two people from university, we went on this kind of tourist barge that tours the canals in Copenhagen. It wasn't very impressive (at least I didn't think so). There was, inevitably, also beer present. In nice quantities. But we had fun and the hours disappeared quickly while we hung out. After having lunch we decided to go to the cinema in the evening. So after a bit more time (and beer lifespan) had passed we went and saw The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. I really liked it. We had dinner at McDonalds afterwards. Quite a lot of money was spent this day.

Some other stuff was also planned for later in the holidays, but it's not finally decided. A canoe trip, a birthday party and a camping holiday in the exact same town as the one I biked to to visit my friend's summer house (this camping trip would be with other people, though). I don't know if they'll happen or not, but we'll see.

Tomorrow I have nothing planned at all. And I'm happy for that. Except for a bit of work in the evening, I can relax completely. And there will be NO beers :P. I do have one beer left from today in my refrigerator, but it will have to be lonely in there for a little while longer.

That'll be the end for today. I'm going to watch Brüno tomorrow, I think. Or maybe tonight. I haven't decided yet.

"Where we learn how our hero fares"

2009-08-04T18:58:00.004+02:00

Wow. That wasn't fun. Food poisoning. Yep. And that was not fun. I cannot stress how not fun it was. But I think it's over now, finally. And I can function normally again. And eat normally again. I won't go into any more details about this five-day period of extreme dread and malaise, other than to say that during this time I managed to read two books, eat 200g of yoghurt and a few bananas (and nothing more during those five days) as well as drink about 50L of water (and gross salt solution thing, that was supposed to help me not die of dehydration - yay).

Yesterday I was at some friends' house for dinner. First day that I managed to eat alright again. I also bought a new Xbox 360 game called Eternal Sonata. It has the potential of becoming a really good game later on, although the story and constant reference to music seems absolutely ridiculous to me at the moment. And today I had a friend over, and it was lots of fun. Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's summer house for two days.

I also started work yesterday. And I'm actually beginning to enjoy it. It's not that boring at all. And I like that I have so much responsibility =). Also what happened yesterday, was that I went for a bike ride. And right when I'm about to turn around and head home, my pedal falls off. Yes, it somehow managed to dislodge itself completely and fall off. And OF COURSE you need some special kind of umbraco key to turn it back on. Which I went out and bought hastily today, and finally used to fix my bike. The bike trip tomorrow to that summer house will take more than two hours tomorrow. I seriously dread how much bad luck can be managed to be squeezed into such a huge timespan of opportunities. We'll see, or rather NOT see, I hope.

I also had my brother come and visit me from Belgium (mind you, it was not my choice - I had no say in the matter whatsoever). But we have a weird relationship of extremely weird humour (I wonder who he got that from :P) and mutual understanding and misunderstanding. So it's alright.

About that package. My guitar hero replacement. The one which apparently had been sent all the way back to Sweden, but I really hoped hadn't. Well, turns out it has. I contacted lots of people, but they all confirmed it had been sent further and further away. I of course watched all of this with the smile of beginning insanity. That guitar is seriously mocking me. As a last resort, I wrote another mail explaining my situation to the ridiculously stupid help-desk. I did that Friday. No answer as of today (Tuesday). I'm thinking about resending the mail again. 50 times. Then they ought to notice it. But I'll wait until Friday and hope.

Until then.

Spirit of the Hawk

2009-07-28T23:56:00.009+02:00

Home, sweet home. Yep, finally home. After carrying that sickingly heavy shoulder bag which was my luggage. But I'm not complaining.

After a rather uneventful start of the day I got to the airport. And as usual weird stuff happens to me. An older man in front of me suddenly turns around while we're both descending the escalator. He says something I don't understand. I ask "what?". He says again: "What does the thing on your shirt mean". Me: "Napapijri?". Him: "Yep." Me: "Dunno." Him: "Ok, so where are you from?". And from there the conversation started. All the way to the security check it continued. We got over such varied subjects as Italian influence on Croatian architecture (he was a diplomat from Italy on his way to Budapest) and weather change in Southern Europe. I've never really had people strike up random conversations like this with me in an airport. Only with the people I sit beside on the plane. It must have been because of my very nice shirt.

While walking towards the gate later on a person suddenly walks really close to me. Really close, I see out of the corner of my eye. Actually brushing up against me now. I'm like "ok, wtf, is this person sick or something". But nope. It turns out to be one of the kids from the bus I took every morning while I lived in Belgium. He was kind of annoying, so luckily he wasn't on the same plane to Denmark as me. But it just proves that it's a small world after all, or I just know a lot of people who are likely to travel a lot, as well as on the same flight routes as me.

I come home to a surprisingly pleasing (but later evil mail) box. Just the day before leaving for Belgium I had placed a "NO ADVERTISEMENTS please" sticker on my mail box. So it was delightfully spacy even though so much time has passed.

The only thing I didn't like was a meek, innocent-looking letter from a transport company lying stealthily on the very bottom of the pile of mail. My fears are confirmed once I open it. It's dated the freaking same day that I left for Belgium (remembering that I left for the airport in the morning before the mail had arrived). And in short it basically says this:

---
Hi there,

Remember last time you heard the door-bell at 7 o'clock in the morning, and you thought it was just the regular paper boy, who always rings everyone's doorbell to get inside the main hall with the newspapers? Well, this time it wasn't. Oh no. It was us. With a big, nice package for you, that couldn't fit in your mailbox. It was probably something really nice. Something you had waited a long time for. Like the new Guitar Hero controller, that you used hours and hours to get sent to you, by talking for hours with useless online help desks. Oh yes. It probably was that.

But now, you see. You didn't answer the door. Because you still had your night clothes on, you were tired and didn't know who it was, since you expected no visits that day, and definetely not that early in the morning. Well, that's just too bad. Because when you didn't open we just left. And waited a nice few days before slipping a letter into your mailbox telling you that you now have five days to get back in touch with us regarding a new delivery, or we will return your package to sender. Yep, you heard that right. We'll return it. What you probably used ages to get, we will now send back. Just so that everything will be completely messed up.

But hey? Now it's not our problem anymore.

Greetings and happy wishes from
General Logistic System Denmark A/S

=)
---

I had three options after having read that.

Cry about the futility of it all.
Pretend I hadn't read the stuff about the package being returned after five days, and send them a nice mail asking to have the package delivered the next day, hoping desperately it would still be there or somehow remotely returnable.
Kill.

I chose the onyl truly sensible option. No not 3, even though it was briefly considered. I chose door number 2, and hope that it will lead me to some vanishingly small speck of hope.

Ah well. I have quite a few things to look forward to though. And that's more than enough to keep my spirits up. It will just require a lot of planning and initiative to get everything started and done, and with work every weekday, I definitely won't get bored quickly.

Right now, I will perform a weather control trick to get nice(r) weather for Thursday, where there's a picnic for my old classmates from the school in Belgium. Let's see if I've still got a bit of that stuff left.

Decision

2009-07-27T18:09:00.009+02:00

Tomorrow I'm going home to Denmark again. I arrived here in Belgium yesterday night after having stayed a whole day in Southern Germany in the weirdest town ever.

All their houses were so huge and weird. Really. It's tough to explain. Nothing there was normally sized. I felt like a small doll in some huge weird Austrian yodelling fantasy. Every house was in the typical Austrian style (imagine very square house with huge V shaped roof with overly flower-decorated balconies). And the smallest houses were about 40m wide. Yep. And to add to it all, everyone was dressed in traditional beer festival clothes. There was even a frigging HUGE Maypole in the town square. It must come as no surprise that when I asked for a small coke at the restaurant, it was only a half a litre. The big coke was 2 L (and oh yes, it came in a 2 L glass).

It felt so ridiculous (but funny) to be so small compared to everything. That didn't mean that there were no details. Oh no. Every little nook and cranny was decorated. With flowers, teapots, draperies, you name it. Here's a picture my brother took of the Maypole together with one of the smaller houses (at first we thought it was a place we could stay, but when we went inside, the man told us that it was merely a small café - I ask myself what the hell a small café needs four floors for :P).

The following day on our way through the rest of Germany we were 1 minute from a huge accident. Suddenly all traffic on the motorway stopped right in front of us. Then came multiple ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, emergency doctors and even helicopters. It was quite alarming. I'm not sure what had happened, but it must have been quite serious. It took about half an hour or more, before we could finally drive on. It was a bit weird being able to walk around in the middle of the motor way with everyone having stopped their cars and gone out as well. This kind of complete stop also happened once on the way to Croatia, but it didn't last as long nor was it as serious I assume (due to lack of before-mentioned pleura of siren-equipped vehicles).

I will end this entry with a picture of the promised blue water from that nature park in Croatia (there were other, more aestetically pleasing photos of lake pleateaus and waterfalls of course, but the showing of the blue water was prime objective here). Following that is a picture of the sunken ship we could dived at. And lastly a picture of the town we stayed at on the island. And note: Although it may not look it, all these pictures were taken by my younger brother with his own camera. I hate to admit it, but he may be good at this kind of stuff. Notice the picture of a cool sigil we found on the docks of our small town, which I will be posting in the next post.

"OooOOOoo"

2009-07-24T22:17:00.003+02:00

Leaving Croatia tomorrow early morning. The drive through Slovenia, Austria back to Belgium is waiting for me. This time it will take us two days to get home though. I hope to get to visit the town of Pula on the way home (even though I doubt it will happen) as I've recently found out it has its own huge coliseum. Weird, huh?

I went snorkeling today for hours in a coral reef about 20 minutes swim (exhausting, bwah) from the beach. There were loads of cool fish and not-so-soft sea urchins. And in place of my sunburn my skin has turned very very dark. Especially concentrated on a spot only on my left shoulder. It looks like someone dabbed it in dark brown paint while the rest is only lightly coloured. Yes, it's very wtf.

I tried a long island ice tea yesterday, After having heard so much about it. Either it was made very well, or the cocktail just normally tastes great. I really liked it. It is therefore recommendable to try it out. (!)

I've acquired a certain taste for an old Danish band I had a few tapes of when I was little. It's called Shubidua. Click here to listen to one of my favourite songs I remember from when I was small. You probably won't understand it if you don't understand Danish (and if you can without knowing Danish, then I want to know your secret). Anyway, most of their texts are really clever. Those understanding a bit of Danish politics might also like their song called "Folkeparty no. 179". I unfortunately can't supply a link for that song, as it's apparently not uploaded on Youtube (quite a shock!).

I'm looking forward to meeting friends in Denmark, and getting the hell away from my family. They get very much on my nerves. Very much so.

And it's fun reading people I know's blogs, and being referred to. Right, friend ^^?

Repeating pattern

2009-07-17T21:12:00.010+02:00

Lots of things have happened since last time. Lots.

I managed to get a sunburn (sob), but it wasn't too bad, and it should be pretty much gone by tomorrow.

We went on this cool boat trip as well, where we visited random islands. One of the islands was this huge nature reserve. And we got to swim in this magnificent lagoon with a big sunken ship in the middle og it and loads of fish swimming around inside it. Rich opportunities for snorkling and scuba diving!

On our way home with the ship we chanced upon a group of wild dolphins. That was more cool that I can describe. I've never seen anything like it. It's so much different than just seeing them at some show. They were doing all these cool tricks in the water and it looked like they were genuinely having fun. They liked getting close to the ship and riding on the ship's wake. Nice :D!

Today we went to this magnificent (yeah, I know I'm using a lot of grand words here, but it truly was :P) nature park in the middle of Croatia. It was extremely splendid :P. It had these really, really blue lakes and huge waterfalls and everything. You can see a picture of it by clicking here. I realise that this is some promo photo shot, but it really did look like this. I'll show you some pictures of my own once I get home. It was also really cool that you sort of walked on the waterfalls on these wooden walkways (you can sort of glimpse it in the top part of the linked picture). And the colour of the water was indescrbable. If I hadn't seen it myself I would have said it was coloured that way in Photoshop. It was THIS blue. We were told it was because of some chemical thing in the water. Carbanic something. But it was perfectly healthy. The drop pools and lakes were full of fish (and ducks!!). I can quite highly recommend visiting this park should you ever suddenly wake up in Zagreb or similar area situated in the general vicinity of the Plitvička jezera park.

And I've had weird dreams these last two days. My first dream was simple enough. I knew how to save the world. In three easy steps. And I actually formulated those steps to the UN. And I could clearly tell people what those steps were and how they would work to save the world. This normally never happens in dreams. It's ok to think you know how to save the world in a dream. But actually formulating the necessary steps is a bit weirder. Anyway, my only problem is that I can't remember steps 2 and 3 after I woke up, and I only remember very little of step 1. I was awoken in the middle of me formulating the three points to the American president.

I remember the 1st point consisted of advancing technology to a sufficient state, and it only required a very simple iteration sequence. And it had to do with a mathematical formula or method or something like that. And I remember thinking "heh, that was really close to what my friend once told me, it's just an expansion of that..".

I apologise to the world for the fact that I can't remember any more details of that dream.

The second dream I remember more of. For some reason I was in Japan and could only speak to people in Japanese. And I suddenly had to take the plane back to Belgium to do a Danish exam concerning a particular bird which I don't recognise. It was kind of stupid. But weird :P. And so, interesting.

Tomorrow we'll finally have a bit cooler weather (34 degrees celsius today..). There's going to be a thunderstorm tonight and so we'll have at least a tiny bit cooler weather for a single day. And then the temperature will skyrocket back to normal once again.

And I got really started with my work now. And I have the responsibility of sending answers about medical insurance to loads of patients now. So I'll get paid nicely :P. It's so nice I can do everything from home.

I'm looking forward to playing a certain game of cards (I've optimised my own collection now) and a certain board game once I get back to Denmark. I'm also looking forward to the canoe trip, the visit to a friend summer house and bike trips to faraway living friends in Denmark ^^!

Treasure Cove

2009-07-13T16:22:00.002+02:00

Greetings from Croatia. It's 30 degrees outside, and it's supposed to be a rather cool day today. Yep.

Sorry for not writitng before (I've been here three days already) but my brother has been hogging the pc, playing games and refusing to let me use it. Even just checking my email took quite an effort in convincing technique.

The drive to get here was somehow done in one single day instead of wto as originally planned. And it was quite astonishing really. I didn't enjoy the drive at all, even though it was quite some nice scenery we passed (such as the Alps and landscape in Austria and Slovenia etc). When we arrived we were all dead tired and irritable and so an extremely good mood didn't exactly pervade.

But after the first night of sleep it got a bit better (with certain relapses into quite hefty arguments). But that's was to be expected anyway. It's a really nice place we're lodging though. It's in this bay with mountains on all sides. Quite a view from our balcony. When I get home I'll see if I can't post a picture of it.

In the days we've been here, we've managed to drive around the island a bit, visit the only publicly accesible underground cave area (a measly stretch of 110 m), rent what sounds like a really cool boat trip for tomorrow, go to random towns, buy a new towel, sunbathe, swim in the sea, sail in this kind of bicycle boat thing, play cards and eat lots of food (important!). I also somehow managed to catch a cold, but it feels like it's finally cured today.

And my parents continously complain (heavily!!) about me not wanting to go out to bars and stuff with my little brother. It's really annoying. I'm afraid they won't lay off it though. Bwah..

One of these days I'm going to take off walking on my own. My dad gave me a walking guide map of the island. There seems to be some quite nice routes to take. I just hope it will cool down a little bit (they've promised only increasing temperatures until Friday, it's going to be torture). I won't be able to walk very far in this temperature.

Well, not much more from here. I wonder about some very weird reflections out at sea at night. And I was kept awake last night by a frigging sheep that just wouldn't stop bleating until around 3 o'clock in the night. Baaa..

"The crock is brinking!!", said the Chinese puppet

2009-07-09T22:31:00.004+02:00

Well, I'm off to Croatia in a couple of hours. It's going to be quite a trip to get there. we're going by car and stopping over in most of the countries on the way there. I wonder what the place we're going to stay at will be like as well. I really have no clue what's going to happen :P..

I've brought with me a book on this unknown journey. "Consider Windward" by Iain M. Banks, one of my most favourite science fiction writers. It's a book I've wanted to read for ages and I finally got it for Christmas. It's kind of the continuation (only kind of) of another book by him called "Consider Phlebas". I remember the verse from the poem those titles comes from by heart for some reason. It's short. The poem is titled "Death".

"Gentile or Jew,
O ye who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you."

It's weird that the first title of the two books actually is taken from the second line, and the second title is taken from the first line. I wonder if some weird logic will present itself at the end of this second book. In thee first book there was no clue what so ever to the poem.

On other notes. My short time here in belgium has been great. I've visited friends and had fun. And I'm going to meet them all again in Denmark. It's funny meeting people you've known for so long again in a different country like this. First in Belgium and then in Denmark. And between those two gathering we're again going to be spread all over the place. I'm going on holidays to Denmark, another to Iceland and a third to southern France.

It surprised me a bit today when I realised how different these people are from most I know from university. We're able to be so much more weird (and I guess, more true to what pops up in our minds) than with other people I know. It's so much fun. I wonder if it's because most people from university are a bit older (even though I doubt that that's the reason) or because they're just a bit more closed with each other since noone knows each other that well yet. And so they're a bit on guard from doing (in their eyes) more non-acceptable stuff. Or maybe I'm just lucky to have had friends who are more weird than average. And that's only meant in a positive way ^^. Weird people are more fun and entertaining. I know that for a fact.

And something I was told today made me wonder. Have I changed since I moved to Denmark? Well, I guess I have changed in a way. It's only to be a bit expected, I guess. I live for myself now, I have much more responsibility (yay ^^) and I can frankly do whatever I want. Be that for better or worse :P.

But I'm still me. I guess we can't stop ourselves from changing. We can only go one step at a time, and try to stay on the right path. Unlike a certain Mr. Pan who broke both his own legs on purpose, so that he would stop walking down that path of miniscule, but additive, change.

Well, I'll be leaving in an hour, so I'd better get a little rest and prepare myself. I normally just hibernate on long drives. The only requirement is a pillow, a book and my iPod and I can stay going for days on end :P.

See ya!

Swoosh!!

2009-07-06T21:52:00.003+02:00

I had the weirdest dream this morning. A dream I forced to continue each time my alarm rang, because it was so interesting. Well, at least in my drowsy state I thought it was. I ended up having repeatedly postponed my alarm so many times that it gave up (after only trying for 2 hours, lazy alarm clock).

The dream basically was about me being able to control the four elements, although I don't recall using fire in the dream. The trouble was that when other people looked on, I sort of became shy or something, and I couldn't control the stuff. I had to be confident in myself before it worked. To prove to the others that I could really do what I said I had to make a rotating ball of water in front of me. But I just couldn't do it while so many people were watching. I had my hands stretched out in front of that glass of water but I could only manage to get a few drops of water to fly into the air. And that wasn't good enough.

I could make a pillar og earth rise up in front of me and use wind to lift myself and fly a bit with no problems, but that wasn't enough (and I even thought so myself). But I kept trying until I woke up. I normally like dreams about element-bending, but this one was kind of annoying :P. I wonder why it was exactly water-bending that gave me trouble..

I don't know if it was that dream or not. But I've been sleeping on and off the whole day today. And I have to get up relatively early tomorrow. I'll never fall asleep tonight, bwah.

I just realised how huge a difference there is between summer and winter in this country. For example, there's a difference in nearly 9 hours between shortest and longest day here.

I'm going to Belgium tomorrow and after a little while I'm continuing to an island in Croatia called Krk (I'm looking forward to learning how to pronounce that correctly). All in all I'll be gone about a month, so I probably won't get to update this much. Or maybe I will.

Up, down, circle, up again and a Yevon greeting

2009-07-05T22:44:00.005+02:00

I washed my clothes and all now, so I should be pretty much ready to leave after tomorrow. It's weird having to be gone a whole month. But I'm looking forward to the glorious food I am sure awaits me :D.

And for ONCE it wasn't way too hot today. I'll finally be able to sleep at a normal time (if I choose to, of course :P). And the same applies for Belgium. No horrible nights of the heat forcing you to turn from side to side.

I have one complaint though. I want some sweets right now. But all I have are some biscuits and a bag of chips. I have half a mind to walk all the way to 7-Eleven to just buy a single bag of sweets. But I know it's a waste of both time and money, bwah.

I'll get my exam results in two days. I'm pretty sure I've passed, but we'll see :P.

Nothing much more I'll bother to write about now. Except a French quote by Jules Renard I'll translate to English for ya.

"Happiness is being happy,
it is not making others believe, that we are happy."

That was..

2009-07-05T01:24:00.005+02:00

Well. Been some time since I wrote stuff that has been happening lately. But there's too too much to write about in a single post. So I'll list the stuff in as concise points as humanly possible:

Went biking with two friends in Copenhagen, finding two geocaches with them.
Before that, I went treasure hunting alone in Copenhagen on my bike. As a commercial stunt 50.000 kr had been hidden in the streets of the capital. The hunt started at 6 o'clock in the morning. I've never before voluntarily gotten up at 5 o'clock in the morning :P. But it was great fun!
I came up with a theory about ducks while on that trip in Copenhagen with the two friends. It's quite scary actually. I imagined that if you plotted the nodding movements of all the ducks' head in the whole world you would find the pattern of something called the Hilbert Transform with respect to the Earth's inherent field. I can't remember what that field is called. It's not a magnetic field or an electric field..
I'm going on a holiday to Belgium and then Croatia which will last the whole of this month.
Then when I get home I'm going to a friend's summer house.
I'm also going canoing with two other friends.
As well as bicycling to another friend again who lives about 60 km or so from here, it will be quite a trip ^^.
I've got some tasks for my new job finally. And completed some of them. Pay is really good and the work is fun! I love that I can do the stuff from home and then just write down how much time I spent doing it. I've also got my first payment. My job title is "Consultant". It sounds cool, doesn't it? And on my bank account it doesn't merely state "løn" (pay) as the title of the money transfer. No, it says "honorar" (I don't really know the translation for this; it's kind of what you would call the money you pay honorary people for their hourly services).
I've completed my first year of uni! My last exam was alright, even though the conditions were so weird. We had to go to the exam place by a tourist bus with no air-condition (we were told the bus would break down if the air-conditioning was turned on, bwah!) and we had to wait in it for an hour. Horrible. I lost all concentration, it was ridiculous. And the whole exam was on pc. But we had to use a pen for it. So weird. Inside the pen was a camera that could see what we wrote and the transferred it to the screen and converted it with some seriously advanced technology. Because we had to write on special paper it knew exactly where on the page we wrote or if we wrote on the backside of it etc. But I'm pretty sure I passed the exam, even though it weren't exactly my strongest subjects. (How the hell do you explain tetanus and summation in connection with a muscle fiber twitch myogram, argh xD!!)
I had two very fun "end of university" parties, where I ended leaving very late both times (around 4 o'clock in the morning - last bus).
I realise I've made some great new friends, and that it's limited how many more I can make because our study is so small. I wonder what the freshers next year will be like. Probably still all older than me :P.
I'm going to take Japanese as an evening class next year (for real!). I've already ordered the exercise book and everything. I talked with the study leader for Japanese and she told me my level was already enough for the intermediary course. I'm going to test myself first though before I decide which level I'll start at though. Besides that, I've been going trhough some online courses in Japanese, and I'm proud to say that there are rare times now where I don't need to look at the subtitles in anime. Because I get what they say. Sometimes it's more like "ah, when I read the english translation I can translate to Japanese and it fits with what they just said" though.
I'm a bit annoyed at how different Japanese sometimes is. They have double negative ffs :P. If they say "I do not 'not want' to go school" it means "I do not want to go to school". Yep, double negatives in Japanese just reinforce each other, unlike in most other languages where they cancel each other out. But on the other hand, if you say to a Japanese person: "You speak Japanese, don't you?" they will answer "No". Yep, in a sentence like that the negative answer cancels the negative in "don't you". Confusing, right?
I went to a VETO concerts in Tivoli in Copenhagen, which was really cool. I'd never heard the band before, but I must admit it was really good.
I've watched the anime Death Note to the end (wow, good one, and poor L) and I've started watching another one called Eureka 7.
Also saw Transformers 2 in the cinema. And before that I watched Slumdog Millionaire and Transformers 1 at home. And I want to see that new film Brüno (same actor and style as the Borat film). It looks hilarious!
It's been so hot here these last few days that it's impossible to sleep. I have every window open + a fan running nearly non-stop. And I still wake early in the morning because of the heat. But luckily the weather is going to cool soon enough.
I did a complete cleaning, polishing and oiling of my bike today. So it's completely fit for fight.
I went biking today at 22:30 and it was a brilliant mix of moonlight and weak daylight outside and around 20 degrees. It felt like it was the middle of the day and not late at all.
I've taken a certain liking to making burgers for lunch.
As well as a certain liking for cocoa.
And cake.

It's 2 o'clock here now, and a friend is visiting me tomorrow. So I'd better go to sleep now or risk being tired (yeah, right, as if that will be prevented). There is quite certainly quite a few things I forgot to list there. Such as learning a new piano song (Sleepless Beauty - Sacred Air remix), going to a very cool type of non-religious communion in Norway with live concerts and really true speeches about life (and for the first time discovering that Norwegians use traditional clothing called "Bunads" (which are a lot like Scottish kilts with emblems corresponding to what area they're from) for special occasions) and having my Dad visit.

So that's all this time folks.

This last picture I couldn't help myself from uploading. It's so cool that this picture was captured :P.

None

2009-06-21T21:05:00.002+02:00

A song I heard today reminded me of disappearing. And I've been seeing this weird poster in train stations with the slogan "Disappear a bit more". Funny that they're actually advertising that people want to disappear.

I didn't think a lot of people knew that they wanted that.

Why so secret?

2009-06-06T23:28:00.002+02:00

"Go and honour your dreams", I once told myself. "Write your own story". Now, what does that mean?

Realising that nothing will last kind of sucks. There are no values. I may learn a lot of things, and I already have, and I might be remembered by lots or none. But it's still so temporary. Does making a difference really matter? "Sure it does", everyone says.

I want to go somewhere. Like everyone does, I guess. Where to? To somewhere where I'll forget about myself. That's what people think without thinking. And then they can't wait to get back home afterwards. What's the only thing that keeps happening? The going. We're only happy when we're going somewhere. Be that a place, an idea or a dream. Why do we need to go, and more importantly: Where?

To see new things, to experience new feelings, to find ourselves, to lose ourselves. We look for what we don't have: completion. We spend our life chasing ourselves. And then we disappear. Is this some kind of joke? A circle of coming and going, a snake biting its own tail.

"In terra pax ad infinite". What is infinity anyway? If infinity exists, then nothing has, is and never will exist. Nah, all this we see is probably spontaneous. Deterministic. The soul? We're so busy making rules for this world, that we lost that long ago.

Then what do you believe? Why do you write this? I don't know. But I do know that tomorrow I'll forget again, and return to myself and the narrow view.

Find yourself! Some people say they can find themselves and find true happiness. They just forget that they're looking. And forgetting can be true happiness.

It's a way of escaping. But that never meant it was easy. Is escaping the only way?

No. Choose your own reality. Noone can hold you responsible for your own actions, but yourself. Choose yourself as you wish to be. What others think is only a reflection of what you think of yourself. What matters is not whay they actually think, but what you think they think.

And if this is really without reason then why not do as we wish. Stop putting restrictions on ourselves. But those can be hard to break.

Did I change? Nah.

Why so complex?

Melody of the Evanescent Scud

2009-05-30T00:33:00.002+02:00

It's soon people's birthdays (like it always is). I'm having trouble finding out what I should get as presents. Getting one thing from China already, but I'm gonna buy something more; just don't know what yet.

And guess who once again got his bike punctured on the way to university, as far away from train stations as possible. Yurrrp, and had to walk with it all the way to the nearest station, pay for both myself and the bike and pay for repairs once I got home. Just great. It's all those stupid broken beer bottles thrown everywhere on the streets in Copenhagen.

I don't really know how I'll be able to finish everything this next month. I have two presentations, two reports and an exam that covers material we've learnt in the past half year. All in one month. Most of it is in groups, but I'm getting a bit tired of having to coordinate everything. Especially when one member is near impossible to contact.

And I'm also saddened at the many people already departing from my university course to instead study something else. We're already few people, and there is a limited amount of people that you can be friends with in any large group. And when those begin leaving it's suddenly not looking so fun anymore. On the other hand, I don't want those people who are leaving to change their mind just because they might feel guilty of leaving. I hope they'll be happy in the new courses that they choose. It's just a real pity that they won't be allowed into our university bar as anything other than invited guests. Socially, I don't see an especially bright future. But anything might happen, we'll see.

Experiencing pneumothorax

2009-05-02T01:03:00.005+02:00

A different day today. 1st of May. Day of the workers. Huge masses of people in the park all drinking beer. Lots of pollen in the air -> Allergy pills. Lots of beers -> Drinking. Allergy pills + Drinking = Dangerous combination. You get so drunk and so quickly (and sudenly). Thanks to a cup of coffee i managed to make it through the day.

I went to a grill party in the evening. It was quite nice, but uneventful. Got to talk with two people who'd lived in Luxembourg before. They knew some people that I know too. It's funny how much easier it is for me to talk to random people and keep a conversation going when I'm drunk :P.

Also had quite an annoying episode today. I had burnt two long films in 8 episodes and spent four cd's doing so. I wanted to give it for free to a friend. I had joked that she could give me 1 kr. for it. But that was only a joke. When she actually comes and says in a quite serious tone: "Well, we agreed on 1 kr." and accepts the bundle just like that, I get seriously annoyed. I don't know. Perhaps show a little more enthousiasm maybe? I spent quite some time doing that, and those blank cd's I bought for quite some money. If somebody had done that for me (and considering we don't know each other THAT well) I would be overjoyed. And not been so insulting as to pay such a ridiculous amount. I would have been MUCH more happy if she had just given me a hug, or simply not given me such a stupid amount. It's seriously insulting. She probably doesn't see it that way. And I don't want her to know I see it this way, since it won't matter I think.

On Monday is the midterm test in humane biology. Am I ready? No. I still have 10 more chapters to read before I've caught up to where we are in class. But I'm working on it.

At the end I'll add some nice stuff I did for bioinformatics. Yesterday I just sat one hour and did it. And it was fun. And now I've completed all the bioinformatics for my team in protein chemistry. I've found everything that was asked for, done the pictures and written explanations for our lab results and arranged it all nicely in a word document ^^. My team will be happy :D.

And if you wonder what is is: It's a picture of the tertiary structure of the B form (very hard to find) of the protein beta lactoglobulin with the two amino acid residues which are mutated from the A form highlighted in red. Lol, sounds much more advanced than it is :P.

Is trouble brewing?

2009-04-29T23:09:00.006+02:00

I'm in trouble.. I have absolutely no money left. I don't know why, but I got huge bills this month for things like tv license, heating, internet, rent and all the rest. After my study subsidy is substracted I have a net surplus of something I won't even mention here. I have to take extreme measures (again..) and I already prepared. I won't be eating very varied stuff this month at all. And I'm afraid I have to cut all my other spending except food down to absolute zero. It probably means I won't be going on a sort of camping trip with the university bar group, and I for sure won't be going out a lot. This Friday is the only day I plan to spend on things other than food - it's the 1st of May. I'm quite sad it has come this far, so I'm really looking forward to starting that job, which SHOULD begin next month, if everything goes well. If not, I will have to take an emergency job. Or something. I can't even get a bus card, so it's bicycling every morning after it expires :P..

I do have something I can sell on Friday. But I would never do it :P.

Tomorrow is another long day in the laboratory. But a good thing is that birch pollen is diminishing!! For the first time today could I see normally with my right eye. Elating!

I've been reading more in our humane biology book today. Now I only need to read 10 more chapters :P. And we have this sort of midterm test monday. But I guess I'm actually a lot more prepared than some of the others are, even though I've read so little. Anyway, the test isn't graded, so it doesn't really matter.

I've also gained a certain liking to the term Pandabird. Or simple P-bird.

I sorted through my old mails today, and started deleting. I had over 900 messages and now I'm down to 600-something. I just didn't have the patience to read through more than 300 mails :P. I found some quite funny/weird/forgotten/sad mails that people had sent me long ago. Some of them I decided to still keep.

I also learned today that the myth about goldfish and other fish having a memory of only 3-5 seconds, is actually not true. EXperiments have already been done that show that they have a memory of at least 5 months. Goldfish were trained to react to a special sound. And months later they would react the same way to that sound. The fish were also trained to nudge a lever to get food. When the lever was adjusted so it would only work during one hour each day, the goldfish adapted, learning only to press the lever around the right time. That clearly shows that the extremely short memory is only a myth.

All the mysteries come undone

2009-04-26T22:15:00.002+02:00

Starfall.

Tomorrow's the presentation. Looking forward to it getting done. I know it doesn't matter, but it's nice to take pride in your work =D. Hope the allergy won't be too bad (and that I at least will be able to see clearly, or else I'll be fucked :P).

And I'm getting closer to removing the 700+ cards that were strewn all over my living room. I've managed to sort all the cards now (it only took a week of working a bit on it each day). I only need to remove about 40 more or so and I should be good to go. And then it comes to selecting the right amount of colours, bwah =/.

Anne-Marie. I wonder if I'll ever forget about it.

Also got myself a summer jacket, yay! And advised about university courses today. Yes, come to me for all your biomedicine, biochemistry, bioinformatics, bioengineering, medicine or chemistry needs!

And I've nearly watched all Family Guy episodes! What a great feat :P!

And still there's so many weird secrets being kept from everyone. Right, Pidge (and no, that's not my hand in the photo)?

Momento da Paz

2009-04-25T16:14:00.004+02:00

The allergy is really beginning to get annoying. Stupid birch trees. Why do they have to release such a MASSIVE amount of pollen compared to ALL other trees. They want to show off or something? I wonder why you don't just kill every birch tree on the planet. They aren't that special at all.

Stupid allergy makes me have to take breaks about every half hour, frankly because I nearly go blind by having my eyes open. After about twenty minutes I start getting very nearsighted, as a result of some yet unknown thing that the pollen does to my eyes. And then it's kind of hard doing anything.

I'm trying to do a presentation on the respiratory system's anatomy while writing this. It's boring. I've learned how asthma works though. Mucus in the bronchies constrict the airflow, and asthma medicine works by both making the muscles in the bronchies relax as well as removing the excess production of mucus. Yay.

This presentation is probably going to be boring once I finish. It's just not possible to make it fun with a subject like this. I kind of just want to get it over with, and not spend huge amounts of work on it, like I've done on other presentations before. So it'll just be short and concise I guess. I can't even do a lot of animations, because I'm not the one standing near the computer..

Over and out.

Dreams and stuff

2009-04-23T20:59:00.002+02:00

I still can't get that waterbending dream out of my mind. It was weird, and it reminded me of a long time ago. The reason that I learnt about bending in the first place. And another dream about great icebergs and using airbending to propel myself away. It's unfair that magic doesn't exist :P.

And I'm happy with my new Xbox, although I have very little money to buy new games for it at the moment. I'm so much looking forward to starting that job.

And I'm getting a bit more used to my new hairstyle ^^. Even though it's still weird having short hair like this.

Initiate

2009-03-05T23:57:00.003+01:00

I just read my horoscope. It adviced me:
"You might feel the need to escape from the hectic pace of life today. Luckily, magic is in the air and you may be able to cast a spell that suspends belief long enough for you to slip into an alternate reality for a while. As long as you keep up a shell of external appearances, no one will miss you while your mind is traveling to faraway places."

So basically I have to slip into an alternate reality, and noone will miss me as long as I act that everything is as it used to be. What a sad advice. Is that really the only way to get away from my problems? I hope not.

And I just read something. That makes so much sense. That it scares the shit out of me. And that usually doesn't happen.

Only if we watch together, everything, there's a flow

2009-03-04T21:14:00.007+01:00

I've nearly finished Season 4 of Lost. And I've seen all the other seasons. But I don't really know if I like where the series is heading. From being only partly mysterious, now everything clearly has something to do with magic. And everyone is dying..

Yesterday, I met a Fillipine on my way home from the bus. She asked directions, and I showed her the way by following her to where I wanted to go. I wasn't in a hurry, so it was quite alright. We talked a bit about Denmark, and what she though of it. She had two main points: Cold, and way too much alcohol drinking :P. A bit my first impression when I moved here as well I guess :P.

I went playing badminton today. It was great fun. The two I hadn't played with before were actually quite good. Skilled. And I found out the girl had actually been playing it for five years. She had some wicked trick shots :P. We also played card, and with dice and stuff. It was really nice. I also can't decide if a girl likes me or not. She gives me weird looks, and only says good stuff about me, but she's also kind of withdrawn. I think she's way too shy to say or do anything obvious if she did like me. And the problem is, I don't know if she acts like that to everyone, or just to me. I've never been any good at finding stuff like this out. I wish someone would just ask her for me, so I could know for sure. Normally girls ask each other stuff like that :P. Now.. where can I find a girl that could get this kind of information for me..

And I found out that I don't have classes tomorrow. Yay :D. So I can relax almost the whole day. I've planned more badminton, because I won't have time on Friday because of a long day at the university. Tomorrow evening I'm also going to the cinema. Going to watch "Operation Valkyrie", the film about the attempted assassination of Hitler. I'm looking forward to it. I'm also really looking forward to it getting warmer, and I can feel it already.

At the end here, I'd like to express a certain feeling of being tossed about, out of control somehow..

One by one..

2009-03-01T03:02:00.002+01:00

It's three o'clock in the night. And I'm not tired. I've done protein chemistry nearly all day. Interspersed with a few episodes of Lost, some gaming and watching the film Alien Versus Predator: Requiem (gross, as usual :P).

And as I sit here I remember more stuff from yesterday. I remember driving around in the middle of Copenhagen with a girl I had just met on her bike. And nearly being run down by a taxi. And having such a hard time keeping the balance with two people on one bike. And I remember the weird loft place where I got in for free because I had some friends on the guest list. Plus meeting some really weird looking goth people. Not just a bit weird. But long, neon green hair and black dresses. And no, it was not a costume party. And I remember that weird cellar room in the pub/bar. Where it seemed smoking pot and as many cigarettes as possible inside was perfectly allowed. People were drunk and or high, and you could speak with everyone. It was like a big college party with people shouting "CHEERS!!" all the time, and you would drink and cheer in unison.

And I found out through a person I also met that night (who studies medicine and even has lectures with me) that a girl from my old school in Belgium (who is one year older than me) ALSO studies medicine and also has lectures with me. Freaky stuff. I'm beginning to think that the world is actually pretty small. Or else I just know a lot of people. And they're all weirdly connected to everyone else I meet :P.

Curiously enough, my final word for today is that I'm happy.

All will proceed as foreseen

2009-02-25T19:23:00.003+01:00

Aw, ffs, I did it again.

Woke up this morning at 7.00 after having gone to bed at 2.30. Not enough sleep at all. And I really couldn't get myself to go to university for one single lecture and going home again after that single lecture. Transport would be just as long as the lecture, so it would be a waste. And instead I just read through the slides at home. And I understood it all, so that's fine. Got to read a few more pages today and I should be alright.

I kind of wasted today away though. Ended up playing an old game a lot. And slept late as well. But I managed to wash the bed sheets and clothes etc.

It was a bit weird to have my Dad and brother visit. It actually wasn't a lot of fun. Had a huge argument with my Dad one of the days. Nearly kicked him out :P. But at least a lot of things got done. My tap was fixed, a new mirror in the hall and a new organisation of things. I also got my birthday and christmas presents back from Belgium finally. So now I have a toaster and bike pump and a new cool painting for the living room.

And the new work thing is a bit chaotic. I don't know what's going to happen. It's become really confusing about getting that new job. And I couldn't resist doing something I shouldn't have done. But it's deserved!

You f*cking transformed into a penguin?!

2009-02-19T20:02:00.002+01:00

Just finished a 9,2 hour long Danish series called "The Kingdom" ("Riget"). It was really great. Funny, scary, thoughtprovoking and even relevant for my study (it happened at a hospital right next to my university)! It's such a pity the series was never fully completed though because some of the actors died.

And the series made me get into a huge conversation with someone I had kind of given up on contacting. So cool :D.

My dad and brother are visiting this weekend. So I'm putting things on hold and preparing the place. It means I won't get so much work done, but it's nice to relax a bit. We'll get to go to the cinema and stuff and I probably won't have to spend money on food, so that's always nice.

I've also got into a situation with two shrovetide (yes.. that word again) parties being held on the same day. And that's really annoying. Because I really want to go to both of them. There are two factors affecting my decision. One is a certain guy I'm avoiding completely, the other is the prospect of meeting new people and going somewhere unknown. So I might have to bail out on the university shrovetide party I'm afraid. And it's a bit of a pity, because there are some people I'd really like to see there who are going I think.

And my dreams are becoming weirder than usual. I found myself searching through a huge pond looking for a special type of box that had something important hidden inside. But the pond was full of boxes everywhere. And they were all closed, and some had special locks that I needed to solve as a type of puzzle to open. But the ones I solved were all empty. I couldn't find the right one. And a woman was searching with me, and I knew I had seen her somewhere before. That was yesterday. I can't remember the dreams from today. Only that I was happy when my alarm clock rang.

And I don't like chemistry kinetics. I hated it when we did it in chemistry, and now it's back in protein chemistry. Welcome second-order reactions and reaction rate constants.

Blah.

Saecula saeculorum

2009-02-16T23:16:00.006+01:00

Today was great.
What a lunch I ate!
And people were nice.
And people were nice.
(Hey, you said that twice!)

An angel on high,
calls from the sky:
"Get to work!"
And I'm pleased to say,
if I may,
I sit with a smirk.

I got all things done.
Things left to do: none.
So a game is in order,
since there's no disorder.

Det skifter; er oppe, er nede, hvor?
Der er ting jeg stadig ikke helt forstår.
Hver dag er jeg tættere på.
Tættere hver dag på at forstå.

Avec chaque pas, je m'approcherai
de la cible abandonnée, que je toujours connais.
Quoique que je n'y arrive jamais.
Mes rêves ne me quittent pas, désormais.

"Jij bent iemand bijzonder,
iemand heel speciaal.
We kunnen altijd gek doen,
ook een beetje schraal."

Sanctus dominus, salva me.
Pleni sunt coeli et terra gloria.
Ducis mihi ad via, proxime.
Ventus gero meus memoria.

Kore wa boku no bouken.
Wakatta, yuutsu de hanasemasen.
Shikashi, ningen wa zutto zankoku.
Anata mo, onaji tsubasa wo aru.

Weak interaction

2009-02-15T21:33:00.011+01:00

I'm lost.

The shrovetide party was cancelled because of
widespread illness.
Instead a
makeshift
dinner was established with six people.
Sucked.

Went to bed sick.
Woke up sick in the night.
Woke up sick in the morning.
Then it disappeared.
And no feeling was left behind.
Nothing.

I played games.
I play, played, will play.
Watch, watched, watching.
Read what I had to.
Said what I had to.

I gave up,
then got back on track.
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
tomorrow I'll do it.
Promise.

Ptsch

2009-02-13T22:33:00.003+01:00

Try saying that out loud. Twice.

Yawn. I've still got the flu. Though not as badly as yesterday. If I'm lucky it's already nearly gone by tomorrow. Woke up this morning around seven, and had a great big think about whether I should go to school or not. I had nearly no sleep this night, partly because of being sick, partly because of having slept so much during the day (because of being sick..). But I got up anyway :D.

The one single lecture (yes.. only one) was quite alright. It's strange having so many new lecturers. And I'm happy that I'm so much ahead. I've read way ahead, plus I've already done the exercises for next Monday. I don't think I'm going to read so much up on humane biology since we don't really have an exam before in half a year (at which time I will have finished the protein chemistry theoretical course and can fully focus on humane biology). And also, I think that just as with comparative anatomy, I'll enjoy this subject and not have to read a lot.

After lectures I found out that for the shrovetide party tomorrow, we all needed costumes. And I don't really have any. So (I don't know how it happened) I somehow got invited home to a friend where we had lunch and he showed me boxes full of costumes he somehow had. And I'm proud to say, that of those things (plus one hat that I bought myself), this will be the weirdest and most random costume these people have ever seen (and nearly me too - only surpassed by a friend from Belgium who dressed up with a purple hat, lab glasses, way too small yellow pants with open zipper, a bowtie, different coloured socks and a green, way too small t-shirt). My costume truly doesn't make sense. But it will look funny. And that's what counts :P.

I realised something important today. But I seriously can't remember it. I hate it when I realise something really important, and I later forget it. "It's not important enough then, if you don't remember it", you say. No. That's not true. It's just like a dream. It's a state of mind that you somehow lose and can't get back too. Unless you try really hard. And I'm not going to bother with that right now. Ah, haha, I actually remember it now, just by writing that. Although it's completely unrelated.

Tomorrow I'll sleep late.

Augury

2009-02-12T18:33:00.016+01:00

Sob, so I finally got the flu. I had seen it coming anyway. Now I just hope it finishes quickly. I don't want to stay home from school tomorrow too. And I have badminton tomorrow, and I do not want to miss out on that. And on Saturday is that shrovetide party.

I spent today being confused, sleeping, watching Family Guy, reading and doing a bit of work. It's hard to do exercises because I can't really think clearly because of the fever.

A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

For once

2009-02-10T23:11:00.014+01:00

Yeah, for once I will post something different and insane (?).
Meep, meep, beep, bop.

There are some things I hate,
some people I don't like,
and some things I want to be different.
There I some things I love,
some people I like,
and some things I wish happened more often.

Some music's nice, some's not. I like this, you like that. That's life!

Long before the planets were forming the true joining of pasts.
It just takes some time.
And everything will be alright. And everything will be just fine.

I'm playing that old tune again.
The one I always hate when it's coming,
but I always look forward to hearing once I know it's too late.
There's more I want to say.

I bet this could turn into a really fucked song.
Some emo thing maybe?
I found out today that I like music classified as emo.
Am I emo? Nah, I don't wear that type of clothes.

I don't always think drunk people are funny. Especially if I'm not drunk and they act like idiots. It's ok to say stupid stuff. But not stupid stuff that annoys and potentially pisses of people (big time).

What do I want in life? Huh?
To be happy of course :P. And a step in the right direction would be summer, an iPod and a bicycle.
Only the summer is missing. Hurry up!!

I don't want to be sick,
I eat too much sugar,
I don't get enough sleep.

I'm going to be healthy again,
sugary stuff tastes good,
you don't have as much fun asleep as awake.

Now what? A new thrill. A new challenge!!
You can do anything you want to!

And even as I wander..

2009-02-10T00:44:00.002+01:00

Yawn. Early day today. Nothing extraordinary happened. I was alone on the bus this morning for most of the way, then was met by a friend who got on the bus a few stops before university. We're getting better friends now, he even invited me to a party. And wanted to do high-fives with me.

That reminds me. EVERYONE already knows about what happened last Friday. And I only told one single person. And people are teasing me with it, wtf :P. Blah :P. And I'm wondering when I'll meet her again or even if. I haven't really spoken to her since that night, even though I added her on Facebook (and for those who know who I am: No, this is NOT a suggestion to go and look on Facebook and try to find her :P..).

On Saturday I'm going to a sort of shrovetide party (shrovetide is such a fucked English word for what is such a common word in Danish - fastelavn) with people from my university course, and I'm sure I'll get lots of more *fun* questions about what happened..

I'm also starting to get seriously sick. And I want it to go away. I don't have time!! There's quite a few things this week. The worst thing is that I got it from the people who went on our university ski trip. Damn those people :P. They should all have gone to Spain like we did =).

Yellow and mostly blue

2009-02-08T13:17:00.009+01:00

Sorry for not posting in four days. It's not that nothing has happened, quite the contrary, I've just been too tired to post anything sensible :P. So this will probably be a long post about what has happened the past four days. I'll try to do this chronologically:

Thursday:

I can't really remember a lot, because it was a very insignificant day. I got up really early, which will be the custom almost every day from now on it seems. Slept/listened to my iPod all the way to university. There were two people on the bus, but I was really too tired to properly speak with them. Left after the one hour lecture. Followed a Chinese (no, nothing negative implied here) friend most of the way and he showed me a new way to get home I hadn't thought about before. It's perfect if I miss my usual bus, then this way is much quicker + we get to talk with each other almost all the way. Relaxed a lot when I got home. And started doing the exercises for protein chemistry. Phew, there's a lot, and they aren't exactly all child's play.. Also watched a lot of Family Guy episodes and got a lot better at playing "Only Time" on keybaord (my current ways of escaping the complete frustrating boringness of the exercises).

Friday:

Quite an eventful day actually. Partly accounted for by the fact that I ended up being awake for about 23 hours and that something happened all the time. No naps or anything that day :P.

Started out with going to the university early like usual. But this time I had enough energy to have a proper conversation :P. Then the lecture, and then back home again. Then I did badminton for an amazing 2,5 hours. I don't really know what happened. It was just amazingly fun and somehow I didn't get tired. And we both played really well.

Then we went into a huge shopping centre I live close to because it was the end of the sales, and we both needed new clothes (we didn't really buy anything on holiday). And it was 10 times cheaper here. I ended up buying a jumper. Afterwards we stopped by a supermarket and did the usual shopping for food. At this point, with the combined effects of prolonged badminton and walking around, my feet hurt. And I only had about 30 minutes before I had to go and get the bus for my shift in our university bar.

On the way up the stairs to my appartment I met an old lady who lives a floor beneath me, and she invited me inside. I couldn't really say no, since I had been meaning to invite her up a few times (she had taken care of my apartment while I was still in Belgium) I had never really gotten around to it. I got something to drink and we talked about how it was going and other random stuff. It was quite nice actually. After about 15 minutes I got back to my apartment. I now had 15 minutes to take a shower, make and eat dinner, iron my shirt, change clothes, get the grocery stuff into the fridge, get the badminton clothes out of my backpack and get out to the bus on time.

Well, I actually made it. But believe me, it's horrible to eat a whole meal of potatoes and chicken in ten minutes while running all around the place. I felt so sick afterwards, and it took some time before the feeling disappeared :P..

Standing in the bar actually wasn't very fun. There were nearly noone who wanted to buya anything. Only towards the end did it get more fun, when more people arrived, and it got busy. I actually stayed for 30 minutes over my shift because it was so fun. And I made some drinks for two girls who studied medicine and they said it was excellent =D.

A girl from my class had brought about 4 or 5 of her friends, so I went and sat and talked with them. It was really nice meeting some new people. One guy studied at the Copenhagen business school, another guy had just finished his bachelor in construction engineering and was going to travel to Barcelona for a year to relax and work as a street musician (he had his own band!), and there was also a girl who had just started her first year in bioinformatics which is a completely new study.

Later my guest (the one I play badminton with each week) arrived and it was really nice. We got such a huge amount of free drinks and he was like: "Wtf, not only are your prices insanely cheap here, but EVERYONE is so nice!!". And I was like: "Welcome to natural sciences =D!". He had only planned to saty for about an hour and then continue to his own university bar (which I'm invited to this Friday btw :P), but he ended up staying for 4 hours instead because it was so fun. Our bar was also so insanely packed with people. The girls I had made drinks for earlier also somehow found me in all the mess and high-fived with me for making such good drinks. Hehe, was quite flattered; both that they remembered me and also because of the drinks complement =D.

After my guest had left some more stuff happened. I had had a lot of fun with that girl who studied bioinformatics, and well, one thing lead to the next. That guy who is always acting weird to me seemed to be a bit in shock when he saw us, hahaha. And of course I couldn't really avoid funny comments from the other people from my year.. From those who know, of course xD.

I ended up leaving about a quarter of an hour after our bar closed at 4 o'clock in the morning. I managed to catch the last night bus. And I was really not looking forward to cleaning the next day. When I had left it already looked pretty bad. When I got home I followed my own advice and got an anti-headache pill. And if I hadn't done that, I really don't know how I would have made it through the next day.

Saturday:

Woke up about nine o'clock after having slept a total of less than four hours. And I nearly didn't have a hangover. I had to drink about five litres of water though, but that's normal I guess :P. At least there was no headache, and I could keep my balance relatively well :P. I lay in bed for quite a while having weirdish dreams about enzymes going into a different conformation each time I turned around in bed (it was completely fucked up, but don't blame me, it's the fault of those goddamn exercises, it is NOT something I usually go and think about during the day :P).

I nearly missed my bus that morning. When I got down the stairs, I saw the bus driving by outside on the road. I had a short internal battle, and decided I would try and catch it. So I raced like crazy, and actually managed to somehow overtake the bus and I actually made it with about 30 seconds to spare. I was exhausted like hell, but happy :P. That happiness wouldn't last though.

Finally arriving at the bar, I'm met by shock. The bar is a mess. Not just a tiny mess. But a complete and utterly insane inferno of broken beer bottles and spilt drinks everywhere. Pictures were taken by some of the older students, because it was the worst they had ever seen. And three of the people didn't show up, so we were four people who had to clean it all up. And the smell of old, warm beer was horrible. Another girl from my year who had to clean up with me said she had followed my advice with the painkiller pill the day before, and that was the only reason she could do this now :P.

During the cleaning up, my Dad randomly called and started nearly yelling at me for being so irresponsible that I went out on a Friday and that I hadn't got a new job yet. He also started telling me I had lied to him about not getting a new job BEFORE I left my old one. And I had never said that. And I have explained to him 10 times before that the 150kr I got per week wasn't really anything anyway, and he had accepted it when I said it then. I ended the call as quickly as politely possible. Fucked up..

After five and a half hours we were finished. There's a lot to tell about the excruciatingly gross and hard work, but I'll spare you. I was a bit nervous about the girl from my year, because she had left the night before wihtout saying goodbye to me and her friend (who was the girl I had been together with), and her friend told me she never left without saying goodbye. But her friend thought that maybe she had just not wanted to disturb us, she guessed. (Wow, it can get really hard to write stuff like this, when you're not allowed to mention any names :P). Anyway, there wasn't a problem at all, so that was good =).

When I finally got home I was wrecked. I already hurt a bit from the day/night of the day before and after this, it was even worse :P. I ended up going to bed at 10 o'clock, and I think it was a good idea. At least I have no sleep deficit now.

Sunday:

Woke up about 12 o'clock this morning after having had the weirdest dreams ever. But they were quite cool actually. It could have been such a nice movie. And the best part is, I don't think I have the idea from anywhere. All original =D. Well, to cut it short:

I was the resistance leader of a people on a planet who were being repeatedly attacked and repressed by another group who mostly lived in a weird construction out on the water.

On this planet were also the ruins of a large spaceship that had crashed a long time in the past. But since then forests had covered the ruins and somehow entered into the synapses of the ship's AI (in the dream I was showed what looked like a huge circle of tall pillars which were all connected with vines). And somehow this had allowed the ship's artificial intelligence to become part of the forest. So the forest on the planet was sentient.

In my attempts to fight the other group of people on this planet I went to the centre of that sentient forest to try and get it to help us. To get there I had to use a weird type of flying machine and enter a sort of grove that was situated quite high up. But unfortunately the forest was very aggresive towards me. As soon as I had entered the grove it made some kind of weird, orange shield which trapped me and my companions inside. And then it started to attack us with some weird green creatures which started killing my friends. But it soon stopped again, and some weird, taller creature came to us. It was the voice of the forest, it told us.

I tried talking to it, but it told me that it would not help us because we were all bad for this planet. I tried yelling back that it was all wrong, but it wouldn't listen. In the end I gave up and said that we would leave it alone if we were allowed to leave. The creature went away and the shields were lifted allowing us to fly away again. It was a really creepy experience.

When we got back to our small village with the other refugees, I was greeted by all the people there. I only had bad news of course, but everyone were happy to see me back safe anyway. Some of the children had made me drawings.

But during the night we were attacked by a raid. A lot of people were killed, and even children weren't spared. We managed to drive the invaders out, but we were furious. So the next day we decided to do a counter-attack. A small group consisting of me and two others flew out to one of their huge constructions out on the water, which we infiltrated. By somehow hypnotising a guard, I found out their weak point, which was a water filtering system in the centre of the complex.

It wasn't hard getting there actually. And once I got there I only had to turn a wheel and the water slowly began to get poisoned. Unfortunately this was when we were discovered and we had to escape the place quickly, or get killed.

And that was when I woke up :P. I don't know if the poison water was enough to do any real damage. I remember thinking in the dream that it was important that we could get out without being discovered. But well :P..

And this is the point where I am now. I'm planning to just finish the exercises today, and relax.

And I like cocoa.

Language of Kǒng Fūzǐ?

2009-02-04T23:19:00.021+01:00

Nice, calm day today. I like it. I don't know what happened, but while I was out buying new ink catridges for my printer I randomly bought two PS2 games. Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus and Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer's Call. It's NOT the time to use money now.. A new month has just begun and I don't exactly have an overflow after the recent holiday. And in two days is another bar. And I just saw I've been given a café-duty next Friday. And when looking at our time table, it looks like everyone has free that day. So not only will I probably be all alone (since noone would go there just to keep me company =( ) and I'll also be missing out on badminton. And that really sucks. I'm thinking about asking a friend tomorrow if he can't take that day for me. Instead I'll swap with his dreaded clean-up on Saturday. I was planning on taking it anyway, but maybe I was too late.

And I found a new song called Zhong Guo Hua in Chinese and I'm slowly beginning to understand a little more of that language (Zhong Guo means Chinese and Hua means language). And I really really like the song as well :P. Also talked with a guy knowing Chinese about a few Chinese Characters I've seen in a movie and in a sort of hallucination. I really need to know what they mean. I'm getting him to ask his Dad about it, since he can't remember what they mean by himself.

And I'm really enjoying protein chemistry. And I hope humane biology as well, but I'm first really starting that subject next week. It's funny that what I thought would be so boring is proving to be so fun to read about. I'm not forcing myself to read it at all, it's actually fun! I've also sorted through all the information regarding timetables and exercices in the various subjects, and it looks a bit weird some days. Sone days for example I have less than 15 minutes to run from one faculty to the other to make the lessons in time. Plus some of the days are over 6 hours long! It's not that it's something extreme, but it's longer than I was used to. I think it'll be hard concentrating when sitting through three lectures in a row after just having two hours of exercises. I'm sure some people will skip the exercises these days. It's really confusing having to look at two seperate timetables and fitting it all into place too. And it doesn't look like there's any pattern at all. So finding a stable place to work will prove impossible. Bwah..

And as the twilight again sets over this town in these cold winter days,
I once again look ahead to days spent whiling away the time; looking windward.

Sure I do!

2009-02-03T22:16:00.006+01:00

A nice and easy start to university today. I was met on the bus this morning by a huge hug and a "wow, it's sure a long time ago we saw each other!!". Hm, yeah, one week sure is a long time (?) :P.. Later I bought my books and said hi to more people. Went home, played piano, read a bit, planned what I need to do tomorrow, fell asleep, got sick and watched some Family Guy again. I think this time the two subjects won't be too hard actually. I looked at the reading plan for protein chemsitry and enzymology and it's relatively few pages we have to read each week, at least compared to biochemistry. It might be hard studying it the same time as humane biology, but we'll see. I'm also getting a bit tired of writing this blog. No real motivation anymore. I could use the time better, like for example exercising =). And I miss the forest. Looking forward to this place getting warmer. Already preparing to go biking in "Hare Forest" in the spring here in Denmark. At the end are some pics I took myself in the Belgian forests.

Cheaters indeed

2009-01-30T00:15:00.002+01:00

Greetings from Barcelona :D!! It's a bit past midnight, and I haven't really got the time to write anything major. It's fun here and sunny (a lot compared to Denmark!). sorry for not writing any of the other days, but I've really had no time :P. I'll tell you about the random stuff when I get home on Sunday/Monday.

Cheers!

Time to catch

2009-01-26T22:48:00.002+01:00

So tomorrow's the big day, huh? Yep, and I think I'm just about ready now. Got my stuff nearly packed, passport ready, tickets in order and sunglasses on :P.

No real news from today. Got an email from my old employer saying that a certain address didn't get their newspaper this week, and that I had to go down there personally and hand them a new one. How the hell am I supposed to do that with no newspapers? I ignored the mail.

Also washed up the last couple of dishes and turned off the random electric appliances to save money while I'm gone. Well, I know it's short, but I'm off! Next time you hear from me it'll be from Spain :D!

Wandering to nowhere

2009-01-25T23:59:00.004+01:00

Just about managed to do it in time today (it's 23:59, hehe). Other than that, today was pretty much uneventful. I managed to get up around 11 o'clock and I started packing my bag for the trip to Spain on Tuesday. Also informed the other three fellow travellers, and drew myself a map for finding the hostel upon arrival. I also found out we're stopping by Zurich, and it's cool because I've never been in Switzerland before. I also tried getting my iPod to work, but it refuses to turn on. I hope it's the battery that's dead and that my pc hasn't shortcircuited yet another thing. My computer shortcircuited my mobile, my digital camera before and now maybe my iPod. Maybe it's trying to be evil to me. It sure is weird that it suddenly does those things randomly when I connect the before-mentioned items.

Tomorrow is up really early. I need to talk with the janitor of this appartment complex about the bike trailer on Tuesday. Also need to wash a few clothes and buy some last minute things before packing the last of my stuff for Spain.

I don't like the word "normally"

2009-01-25T05:01:00.002+01:00

First of all, sorry for writing this so late (again, again, I know..). But the fact that I'm writing this at 5.30 in the morning is because I just came home. Surprisingly, I'm not so drunk (partly accounted for by the fact that the prices of drinks in clubs are insanely high).

Started today with my last round of newspaper delivery. It was a huge load this time, but it was sweet when in was over. I won't have to do it again =D. Now I just have to get my bike trailer picked up Tuesday morning and I'll be cut from all ties with that vampire company. After I came home I began watching Ghost in the Shell; an anime I've heard a lot of good about. It's kind of scary though, and very philosophical. It talks about what makes a human human and about what reality is. I've always found those subjects interesting, so the anime's great. I unfortunately didn't get to watch all of it because I had to leave for the evening then.

I won't go into details about the evening, other than it was fun and different. It was the first time I have gone to any Danish bars for real in Copenhagen. I was amazed at the overcharged prices and the (wtf) easy girls. It was a whole other different scene than Belgian clubs though. And clothing style is also pretty different. I also got to play pool and table football. I lost at pool, but I won every single table football game, so that was alright.

What wasn't alright was that Denmark lost against Poland in men's handball. Granted, Poland played better, but Denmark gave them a race to the finish at the end. And since we're Denmark, we deserved to win :P. Plus, the judge was clearly against Denmark; giving penalties at the most random of times.

And now I'd better get to sleep. I have no plans for tomorrow, except relax, watch a few films and sleep late. Aaah :D..

Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?

2009-01-24T00:44:00.003+01:00

Got up a bit more normally today. Started out with badminton and then lunch with a friend. Then we went home to my place and discussed random stuff. Tried teaching him a piano song because he wanted to, and it half succeeded. In the end (after max 10 minutes) he didn't have the patience :P.

Then went to his place and played some table football. And I'm sad to say that if I don't start practicing again, the student will surpass the teacher :P. It all depends on the type of table, of course, but still. We also watched a bit of X Factor (sort of Danish version of American Idol) and some James Bond. Also transferred a lot of my songs to his pc from my external hard drive (those things are great!). I think he got about 50 songs or more.

I ended up taking the last bus home, and that's why I'm writing this after midnight once again. I also got invited to a party and subsequent night in town tomorrow. By a guy living in Copenhagen. Yep. And I'm going.

Tomorrow morning is also my last round of newspaper delivery. And then I'm finished with it. Forever =D! I just hope it doesn't start raining or gets too cold (with my usual luck, it'll probably do both :P).

Not much more to say about today, I guess. I'm still learning the song Only Time by Enya on piano. It's kind of easy compared to other songs I've already learnt. But now I'm tired and I'm going to sleep.

Do not underestimate me

2009-01-22T23:57:00.008+01:00

I did nothing today. Absolutely nothing. Or at least something very close to it.

I woke at 9 o'clock by myself. Thought, bwah, I don't feel like getting up. So I forced myself to fall asleep again and I of course had weird dreams. That always happens when you go to sleep a second time. I wake up again at one o'clock and think "How the hell did this happen?". But no matter. It's too cold outside to do anything anyway. But here's a list of what I actually managed to do today:

Buy milk and paper towels
Read a bit (and subsequently renew my loan period at the library)
Talk with my mum on the phone for quite a while
Start learning a new piano song
Watch two episodes of Family Guy
Be annoyed at my timetable for the next two months of university
Pay the money for a flight
Be very, very bored
Fold a crazily complicated origami (shape folded from paper)
Wonder about how my ex-girlfriend is doing =(
Change my profile picture on Facebook (oh, wow..)

And that's it. Not very impressive, I know. Tomorrow's going to be different. I'm going to be active a lot and going to a friend's place as well. Fun =D!

It just keeps tumbling down

2009-01-21T22:12:00.002+01:00

I'm writing this semi-drunk. But anyway. Today's exam was really annoying.

Not only was it really hard, but I made the most stupid mistakes. And after all that practicing, getting stupid questions like this really pisses me off. But at least I can console in the fact that it's holiday now. Sob, and I'm annoyed about something else. It's probably soon time to cut old ties and start again.

Tomorrow is going to be a completely relaxing day. Maybe a bit of biking and finding a geocache or two. But I'll finally sleep long. And I just got a "maybe" job offer from a friend at university today about a job as a water analysist in a laboratory in a town near me. And another friend's dad is looking for student jobs for me in his company which is in walking distance from my appartment. I'm on way to a new job =).

I don't really have anything else to say for today. I wish everyone who's finished with their exams a happy holiday and good times.

A stranger on a bus once told me I had nice eyes

2009-01-20T19:24:00.006+01:00

Calm day today. Study day. Preparatory day. A day before days. And tomorrow is gonna be a huge clean-up day.

Got up medium-semi-aldehyde-early. Got my daily vitamin D and coenzyme B12 supplement as well as some molecules convertable to glucose, some proteins convertable to amino acids (and subsequently heme, epenephrin etc.) and a little fat necessary for cholesterol synthesis and prostaglandins (there you go dear COX-2 enzyme). A lot of Acetyl-CoA was probably sifting into my mitochondria afterwards. Hydrons were being pumped across membranes and weird F1 complexes were changing conformations, creating ATP in the process. Outside the sun was shining brightly, but no chlorophyll-filled leaves were transferring excitons captured from the photons of light by antenna molecules to reaction centres, and subsequently no cytochrom b6f complexes were creating proton gradients. Well, maybe with beta-caroten. Poor, lazy thylakoids arranged in grana. They're probably bored. I'm already looking forward to this Friday when my Cori cycle will be active once again, and I guess a bit of acetone, acetoacetate and D-beta-hydroxybutyrate will be keeping my erythrocytes company.

Omg, that has to be the strangest text I've ever written. And I'm scared to say that it will all make sense to a biochemist.

Also took control of a certain vertebrate today, even a cetacea odontoceti. It's nice, because of their vestibular system's muculae and cristae with their statoconia, they're able to right themselves although the limnic environment is sometimes impossible to find top and bottom in. Their paired fins are great for navigating and they're quick too with a streamlined epidermis. It's weird to think they share the same class as us, and they're very intelligent too. They share our cochlea system and their telencephalon must be specialised as they can use ecco, just as bats. And funnily, that's his name too.

And that was briefly for the comparative anatomy fans.

Tomorrow is the exam. I'm a bit nervous about it, but I don't really know what else to do now. I've practised all I've could.. And in other random news, my brother just got himself a goldfish which he has named "Blob", plus someone made me this South Park version of myself. Notice the doctor's syringe, hehe =D.

Once, only I could see where the clouds were going

2009-01-19T23:42:00.006+01:00

Exam day today. And I officially abandon the point system.

I had the weirdest dream this night. I dreamt that I was alive during the flood, and not on the Ark. The rain was scary. Then I was travelling towards a space station, because God had put the mark of death on me. And I could feel I was going to die very soon. It was really scary. Then I "woke up" inside the dream, because it got too scary. But I was still inside the dream. So I wake up in a hotel room where everything is filled with mosquitos and it's really gross. This is even worse so I'm suddenly back at the space station again. Here I begin looking for a special book that I had hidden away, because it contained some kind of important secret. An evil person is looking for it, and I have to hide it. I remember thinking that I should write in it the words: "This is the day I died" and a date, so that the world would remember me. I guess you could call it a sort of

Then I wake up and see the time is six in the morning. Just great, still 1,5 hours until I should be up. I'll probably be real tired for the exam. After about 30 minutes I manage to fall asleep again. Then five minutes later: "beep, beep"; sms. Bwah :P. I fall asleep again, and snooze the alarm three times :P. Then I realise it may be very stupid to do that on an exam day and I get up. The journey to the exam hall is relatively uneventful, except I still wonder how we were meant to find the place without help. The exam hall was hidden inside this huge, weird building with a huge pendulum in the middle surrounded by an anormous circular stairwell with rooms leading off to all sides. And no mention of any exam hall on signs. It would probably have been a really cool place to explore if it hadn't been for the exam. Well we found it in the end though.

The exam in comparative anatomy went really well. After I came home I just quickly checked the things I was a bit in doubt of, and they were all right =D. But I probably won't get max marks for both of my essay questions. But I'll get a high grade, I'm sure. Not that it matters, since the exam is only judged as passed/not passed, but it's still nice to know that you got something out of the subject.

The annoying thing is that I now have to put it all out of mind and start thinking about the (probably haredr) biochemistry exam on Wednesday. It's not fair.. They should have put a longer break in between. But I'm pleased to say that I feel quite ready for it. We've practiced a lot and most of the stuff is there, I hope. It's probably nucleotide degradation and synthesis that are my only real weaknesses and I'll look at those tomorrow. I hope the exam goes well.

Defender of the Future

2009-01-18T22:05:00.003+01:00

Stayed at home all day reading up on comparative anatomy, playing video games and watching Family Guy (I'm still a way bigger fan of South Park though). No points. Tomorrow's the big day :P.

And nothing else really. I think I'll do alright in both exams.

Ding, dong, merrily on high..

2009-01-18T00:23:00.003+01:00

Early start again today with newspaper delivery. It was freezing cold. And came home to a huge package with 200 letters from my old boss containing an ad about if someone wanted to take over my route now that I'm leaving. And she wants me to deliver them to all the houses on my route. Not only is that extra work for me (for which I will not be paid) but it's ridiculously bad mannered. I seriously considering just throwing them away. And I got my game from England plus the one from Sweden. Ecco the Dolphin =).

We also finished practicing for comparative anatomy today, and I think we're alright for the exam now. We had a nice time at my place studying and eating loads of ice cream :P. Also talked a bit about studying abroad and foreign universities.

And I know this is too late, and I'm too tired. So just imagine something else interesting that happened today and insert it here :P..

Do not mix milk and coke; the foam won't disappear

2009-01-16T21:25:00.007+01:00

A net good day. No points touched. I went to the questions lecture, but it was nothing special. I didn't really learn anything. One of the lecturers acted like he wanted us to know every little single thing in the book, while the other one was much more honest about what we had to know. But strangely, I got the impression that they were actually angry at us asking them questions; as if it challenged their ability to teach, just because we couldn't remember every single thing. I'm relaly not looking forward to exams.

I also played flute today to see if I could still do it. And I could, and remarkably well too. I still know all the notes and I can play immediately just by watching the sheet music =). And I impressed a friend with my piano playing skills after a really good game of badminton, where I had played better than usual :D. I guess I had a lucky day today. After badminton we went and had lunch and then went back to my place. We watched some random Japanese game shows on Youtube (they're insane), and had loads of fun. He invited me back to his place, but I said no thanks considering the exam practicing.

Then some exam practising. Which gave me a headache. There's SO much to know for biochemistry. And it's really draining my energy keeping all the top of my head at the same time. I'm soon going to reach the point that if I try to learn something new again, it will make me forget some of the old stuff I learnt. So I keep having to refresh the other things I know or risk forgetting it. And that's annoying. It was like learning the lines for that two hour long play in old English I performed in, about two years ago. The difference is just that this time we have about 1/50th of the time to learn and remember it all. Great :P..

Tomorrow is more exam practice and the second-last time I'll be out delivering newspapers. I hope the weather doesn't get too bad.

Place Your Really Used Vase At The Entrance

2009-01-15T22:57:00.004+01:00

I'd like to extend my thanks to the cloud today. And the points stayed the same. Nothing special really happened today, so a short post. Practising was done, although there's still a tiny bit left of self-study. It's getting a bit tiring. And weird things are happening which I don't like. I don't really feel like dying :P.. I also got a letter back from my former boss telling me she was sad to see me go. Well :P. Plus I got my hair cut, and it's quite nice.

Tomorrow is a sort of "asking questions" class at university. And that's probably the last time I'll be at the university grounds before after the exams. This weekend will be tough. I also think I'm going to bike again tomorrow. And afterwards I'm playing badminton.

Included at the end is a schematic of basicly what we have to know (although some of it is quite rough). Fun.

I think it's time for a nippy sweetie

2009-01-14T23:08:00.002+01:00

Today was foggy outside. No point change. It wasn't so cold actually. We didn't get to do a whole lot of exam practicing, but it was enough. I'm starting to feel the exam pressure a little now. About time :P.

Got up at 8 o'clock and got the bus to university. Study, eat, bike home. My bike front light was for some reason not turned on, and that made a car driver pretty much panic. He drove next to me, pulled down the window while driving and shouted to me if my front light was broken. I promptly replied "yes" and he drove off.

At home at last I got a hairdressers appointment for tomorrow. Never made an appointment with a hairdresser myself before and I bet it'll go horribly wrong with the haircut :P. But I guess it's time for it, since people are already beginning to confuse me with all other boys who have long hair and wear a dark coat.

I also wrote my letter of resignation to my distribution center leader (boss) today. It was short, concise and to the point. And soon I need to apply for a new job. Ah well. These things happen. Now I just have to concentrate about exams and then I can relax afterwards. It's weird, it feels like I just had my last exams. I don't like how little time we have between our major exams. Only 7 weeks I was informed of today. And with all the stuff we need to know they probably couldn't teach the material in any less time.

I'd better go now and prepare myself for tomorrow's studying.

The dodo bird became extinct for a reason

2009-01-13T23:40:00.003+01:00

Hmm, is probably the most intelligent thing I can say about today. It was fucked. I also added one point. I just came home and now I have less than 15 minutes to finish the rest of the post, so here goes!

Started the day quite early. Up, shower, clothes, breakfast, not bothering to wash up again, thinking about my bike, out the door, no mail, bus and then university. A pretty calm, but alright exercise lesson. Someone cancels our scheduled exam studying. But it's alright (now :P --- nah, I forgive easily). I ended up going back to my place with the first guy for lunch and exercises. It goes well and we get a lot done. Then a guy invites me back to his place and that we're having dinner and playing games and watching movies. Wtf. And so it happens.

We have quite a good time. Dinner was nice (got to talk with his parents about Belgian politics - NOT my strong side), games were fun (first time playing Guitar Hero, and now I want to get better) and the movie was awesome (Fight Club). He followed me back to the station and he acted weird. Can't quite explain it. What I don't get is.. Pretty much everything. The more I get pissed off at him, the more he likes me, and today when we played Xbox he said he didn't want to look stupid in front of me. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I told him I didn't care and that there was nothing wrong with looking stupid in front of others, and he answered something in the likes of "yeah.. well..", in a sort of arrogant way. Don't ask me. No fucking clue :P.

I still have a lot to read tonight and tomorrow I'm getting up early, and biking home if the weather's good. I have one more minute. This is going out now!

And for tomorrow are those who can fly

2009-01-13T00:49:00.022+01:00

Sorry for the late post, I just came home now. This still counts as the entry for the 12th since I didn't have a chance to post before now. I also deducted yet another point today. Today was random but nice.

I woke up after the weirdest dream ever. About having to go on a quest to get a social security number in Japan. Together with a lot of other kids I was handed a huge gun and I was sent into a sort of forest of trials. Trials included offering dead pigs to gods as well as saving a pigmy woman from getting sucked into an anti-gravity machine that looked very much like a morphed washing machine. Kind of funny though. Then a random, tough bicycling in the cold and windy weather to practice more biochemistry. We didn't do so much, but well, I know I learnt something from it. I also bought some whiteboard markers from a local university book shop, but they worked like shit.
Here we see me trying to

learn the urea cycle, yay!

I decided to take the bus home at the end of practicing because it had gotten dark. I hope it's alright for tomorrow when I'm planning on taking it home again. Then there was the dinner, which was so great. I had so much fun and we got to talk about everything. I also borrowed a dvd named "How to Get Rid of the Others" which is supposed to be really funny. On the way home (they drove me home, so nice =D) we talked about student jobs. The father works in the same time as I live and he would go and ask tomorrow if they had some available jobs, and about shift times and everything. It's great!

Not much more from cold and windy Denmark. G'night!

Lol, wth, omfg rofl tbh!

2009-01-11T22:41:00.004+01:00

A sort of another randomly quiet day. I'm thinking about abandoning the point system. And I feel so happy. I don't know why. But I just do. I'm not worried about any of the things I've worried about this past week anymore. Perhaps it just helped that I talked a bit about it yesterday. Or not. But anyway, it's been a great day even though not really a lot has happened.

I slept until around 1 o'clock. I had had loads of weird dreams about talking to loads of random people and smiling and feeling great, so I woke up feeling pretty energised. Breakfast, shower and then out walking in the cool afternoon for about 1,5 hours, finding another geocache and logging my visit. Then home to a tiny bit of reading about fatty acid degradation (β-oxidation) and doing random stuff at the pc. I sorted through my friends, applications and notifications on Facebook. Not a small job, but I ended up deleting three people because I plainly don't know them. Also removed a few random applications and ignored about 156 random notifications. Bwah.. I also saw a 40 min "making of" film about South Park. It's quite interesting since I'm a sort of mild fan.

I ate a lot of ice cream for dessert today. And I just realise I forgot sending that resignation letter to my employer. I'll have to do that tomorrow I guess. Which reminds me that I have to still read some more for tomorrow's practice, which reminds me that the exam isn't so far away actually, which reminds me that there's a lot of work, which reminds me that I should maybe begin worrying maybe a little, but I'm not. Which is a bit strange. My mum also called today and asked if I had bought new shoes and if I was weight-training or not. Which was pretty much even weirder.

So all in all; a random, happy day!

Closer to Heaven

2009-01-10T20:44:00.006+01:00

Just one of those random days that happen most of the time. I didn't touch the score in any way today, since it wouldn't be fair. Went up early (but still late compared to the other days this week) to deliver newspapers. It was nice weather, but a bit boring. I made one single mistake by bringing one newspaper too few for an apartment complex, and at the top floor I had to decide which room to give a newspaper and which not to give. I made the wrong choice and immediately got a complaint from an old woman inside. Just my luck.. I'm already looking forward to quitting the job. I told that woman that I was only a temporary substitute and that I would only work for two more weeks. So that was why I had made a mistake at her door since I was new to it all. That made her happy and I gave her a new newspaper and she floated away.

At the end of my rounds a stupid headache began. When I came home I had nothing to make for lunch so I ended up eating a banana and having some early dinner. I also fell asleep after reading about one page about fatty acid oxidation. But before that I used about half an hour to learn to recognise all 20 amino acids. And I'm proud to say that I can do it now :D. Some of them can be remembered by very simple mnemonics. On Monday I'm going to go practice with a friend some more, and we'll show off our skilzz =D. I've also been invited to a dinner that day, by some friends outside university who've always lived in Denmark. It'll be nice seeing them again.

I also ordered two PS2 games today on eBay, and they cost nearly nothing. I'm getting them sent from the UK and the total cost was less than 30€, and I'd say that is pretty cheap. I'm still a bit cautious about buying things online, but I think it's alright to trust Paypal. I'm not going to become paranoid :P.

I just heard today about how people are bringing their friends from high school as guests to our university bar. I wish I could do that too. And I realise I actually miss my old classmates. We always had such a great time together, and I think they'd really have fun in our bar and meeting the new people from my year. We were like one big family. We knew almost everything about each other. It was kind of weird, but also pretty cool. Everyone accepted each other and understood. I doubt you'd find classes like this outside the European schools. But that's the fates of us international children (and not pyruvate). Rootless was the word our teacher once used about us to tell some visiting Danish students about us. They were doing a high school project about us and how our lives were. I remember having to answer such questions as "Do you think you'll be able to go back to Denmark and follow education in Danish, won't it be really difficult for you to understand, since most of your subjects are in other languages?", "Isn't it hard when friends you've made leave for another country?" and "How much is your school fee each year?". Wow, omfg, I just read my answer to that last question. It seems it cost me 7000€ per year to attend the school. That's kind of a ridiculous amount. I don't think my children will be attending that school after all :P.

Just a state of mind..

2009-01-09T20:50:00.005+01:00

Today was alright. I deducted one point. We had out last anatomy classes today, with our teachers thanking us for being really good students. Talked a bit with a guy about living only with strawberries as your sole material. You'd have to use them for making clothes and eating and everything. Weird, but funny thought.

After a quick lunch/cake it was back to the university bar for a quick recap on the past few days of exam studying. And it went quite well. We're learning to recognise the structure of all amino acids now! Once, in chemistry class, I remember our teacher telling us, that if we decided to do university biology or something in that area later, we would have to know all 20 amino acids by heart. And at the time, I had a tiny bit of trouble just remembering that there were 20 amino acids, and remembering the difference between alanine and glycine, the two most basic amino acids you can find. But, well, here I am today, having to know all of them =). And I'm proud of it =D.

I decided to stay a bit after the quick recap and talk a bit with the others. That got extended into also playing quite a few games (with the help of a little convincing - how the hell does she do it?). All in all, I think I stayed about 3 more hours than I had intended at first, but I don't regret it at all =D. I had loads of fun.

When I got home it was dark and cold. It kind of takes away your energy. And on the stairs was a nice note to me from our property manager: "Please remove your newspapers from the hall immediately". They were in a small corner where noone went anyway, and in the way of noone. People had never complained before, and I have put them there for the last two months and not heard a word from anyone. And now suddenly it's not allowed. So I had to carry all of it up 3 floors and put them in my living room. I told my dad about it when he called today, and he told me he would talk to the managers if I wanted; he got a bit pissed off as well. He also told me to get a haircut (can he see me through the phone or something??). Anyway, I've realised that this can't go on, and I've decided to quit my job now. After tomorrow I'll send a mail with my resignation. Problem is that it says in my contract I still have to work for two more weeks after I've quit, and I'm afraid I might not be home in the second week. Ah, well. What can they do? (probably sue me and all kinds of nasty stuff, but let's just ignore that, alright :P)

The picture on the left is probably how I'll look in about 10 years or so :P. The owl is probably my newest test animal, and that staff is actually a huge syringe :P. And, like the text says, I'll be invading God's territory through the course of manipulating genes. Although most don't realise it, we are probably as close to the modern-day alchemist/magician that we can come.

As a child I was always fascinated by magic and healing and all that. I even studied astral travel, wicca and occult texts for quite a while. And I've experienced one or two things that are unexplainable. Our world is really a mysterious place, and I'm happy that we can't (yet) explain everything that happens. I once read a book containing collections of unexplained things and there were quite a few things where scientists were completely baffled. For example a guy claiming to be able to perform travels in the real world in his dreams, was tested by going to sleep in a monitored bed. He then had to "fly" in his dreams to the ceiling of a room in the same building where a series of numbers were written on the bottom of a bucket hung from the ceiling. He got it right multiple times. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Many people have since done the same thing (called astral travel) with more or less success, but there has been no more experimenting in the area as far as I know. I've tried doing it once myself, and I've succeeded halfway, but I was too freaked out that it actually worked, so I never got further. But that's probably a story for another time.

Man is free when he wants to be

2009-01-08T19:09:00.003+01:00

I've been watching a lot of Hayao Miyazaki's films lately. They're so great. If you don't know him, he's like a Japanese Walt Disney. His drawings are truly awesome (some of his landscapes and forests are awe-inspiring) and the stories are really great. Of his films, I can recommend Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, My Neighbour Totoro and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Go and watch them!

I got up a bit earlier than usual today for no real reason, so I was kind of tired. I only managed to drink half a cup of coffee and then it was off to university. The lessons were very uneventful. At lunch we had some really interesting discussion, it was great fun. I missed having some real intellectual conversations like this with more people. Sometimes it seems that some people have got nothing else on their mind than drinking and how much stupid they did at some random night.

Later, we went to go study for exams, but there were no spaces at the usual place, so we ended going into a meeting room at our university bar. We had a great time practicing, and we got so much done. Plus, the one I was studying with had even brought sweets =D! Niiice! It was truly an efficient and effective time we spent there. We stayed for four hours. That just tells how well it went.

Afterwards I wanted to go home. But my friend wanted to go eat oranges downstairs (yeah, I bet that sounds a bit random :P). And I was pretty much against that. And well, to make a semi-short story very short, in the end the person I had been trying to avoid because he had been annoying me a bit came home with me (yes, fucked up.. talk about irony) to pick up some of stuff he had left there. But actually, it didn't go as badly as I had feared. On the way to the bus I confronted him by saying he had changed in a weird way (and explained that in this case weird meant bad), and that he had started saying a lot of shit. And I told him to pull himself together.

Later, when we were waiting at the bus stop, he told me he had noticed a change in me too. I was wondering a bit what he had noticed. He told me he thought I had become more confident (and not that I hadn't been it before) and that was a really good thing and he liked me even more now. And I thought, this is seriously fucked up right there.

The bus came and we spoke about random stuff. At my place I showed him two funny youtube videos by French and Saunders (the British comedians). Then after about 20 minutes he got his things and left. It was all friendly and alright.

And I feel kind of tired already. So I'll take my leave now.

Top o' the morning to ye!

2009-01-07T20:08:00.006+01:00

I now know almost how we look inside. It was actually quite fun dissecting the pig, although it smelled quite bad at the beginning. But after removing its intestines and washing them, the stench started diminishing. And I've officially sawed off a pigs head with a saw now, as well as having blown up it's lungs through a straw. Yeah, I know, it was a bit gross, but quite an experience anyway. We had a great time. I'm not as grossed out about the insides of animals so much anymore. I'm happy we went from very small animals to larger and larger ones. I don't even want to imagine what it would have been like if the pig had been our first dissection.

And I was very close to sending a bag of dates to a person today. Instead of money. It would have been quite funny, but I decided against it anyway. Actually today was quite a good day. A good mood pervaded most of the day. I didn't freeze so much because of my winter jacket.

Also did a bit of reading today, although it wasn't a whole lot. I learnt something new about regulating enzymes in a certain glucose pathway. I won't exactly say, YAY!, but I'm glad I'm learning these things. The biochemistry exam is exactly 14 days away now. It may seem like a lot, but our syllabus is seriously insanely huge. I guess that's university for you.

I also had a really long conversation with a good friend today. It was weird telling her about my past and about the bad things I've experienced. Even though it wasn't that huge an amount, it still felt weird, but also like a little weight was lifted off my shoulders. It's not normally stuff I go telling to just about everyone, but I was really surprised how easily I could speak about it to her.

At the end of the day I just managed to miss my bus by about 10 seconds :P. So I take the train instead. But the electronic train information signs are having technical problems, and in my haste I accidently get on a completely insanely crowded train. Just like those stuffed trains in japan (click), though luckily not as extreme. And of course the train is going in the wrong direction. So I discover it and get off at the next station, wait for the next train, and after about 30 more minutes, I'm home. But it was still a good day!

That's all from today.

Regarde bien le monde qui t'entoure

2009-01-06T19:30:00.009+01:00

Long day, cold day. University life is becoming so weird. I can't sort out anything anymore. The world needs to stand still a few days. I have difficulty getting to grips with and understanding some people (a few actually). And I'm also having difficulties reading people's intentions and meanings, and I don't know what I wish myself either. And exams are coming up. Yeah, quite a mess I'm in :P.

The only really good thing that happened today is still a secret. Since I know that person will read this blog and go "omg :D", if I said it. And I can use it for bargaining with her later :D. Let's just say I solved a difficult challenge (and I know she remembers now) =D.

Tomorrow is the pig dissection. I'm kind of indifferent to it though. I don't see the whole point of doing all the other dissections as well. Sure enough, the essays we did were good, but isn't this part of the exercise more for fun than for anything academic :P.

Nothing much more so say, I guess. Other than to look well at the world around you and see how much of it you actually understand.

Don't touch the red-hot quartz tubes, you might burn yourself

2009-01-05T19:52:00.006+01:00

My first day back at university again today after the christmas holidays. It was up at six o'clock in the morning, felt hopelessly tired, made some coffee, used another cup than usual that wasn't heatproof and scolded my hand badly. And then out into the biting cold outside. Taking a bus and walking some more in the cold. A girl tells me something while we're walking that to her sounds random, but is so scary and so right that I almost told her right there. I laugh at the fact that something like this can happen without her knowing.

Then a lecture about test animals which was ok. Then an hour of practically nothing with a bit of practicing for the impending quiz. Which was completely fucked up anyway and way too difficult. And I felt bad about allowing the day for payment of the vacation to be put off two days into the future. And about not telling the truth to someone and lying just because the others don't accept him.

Then another lecture with the American lector. My coffee from the morning gave up at this point. It managed to keep me awake and not fighting for my life during the lecture, but it killed itself in the struggle, and so could not help me from getting tired afterwards. Then I went to the library with some others to slowly start practising for exams, and it went well enough despite the tiredness. Of both parties involved :P. I had felt quite happy during the day, but near the end, it kind of went slightly to hell and I got a bit more down to earth.

When I arrived at my home bus stop the only thing that kept me going was the thought of warm blankets. I stayed up for about half an hour after I got home and then I had to give up. I woke up again at 19.30, being completely convinced that it didn't matter how long I had slept, because time would magically flow backwards once I decided it should, and so no time would be lost. Disoriented, I made myself some easy dinner and a shrimp sandwich (don't ask me..) and that gave me some energy back.

And now I can't decide if I should go to bed already or what. I don't feel like doing anything at all. Mmm, what's that? You're asking if I actually have something interesting to say in this entry? Try this on for a size: Coke would actually be green if black colouring wasn't added to it. And something even worse: Hitler was not only a vegetarian, he also only had one testicle. His other one was shot off in the battle of Somme in 1916. That should about do it concerning weird facts for today.

I'll end this with a picture that is a bit weird. Simpsons as anime (click it for a larger version):

It's staring me right in the eye

2009-01-04T23:26:00.003+01:00

Today one of two things happened. I either slept until 3 o'clock, or time decided to fastforward and I actually only slept until 11 o'clock and time just decided to skip 4 hours ahead for no apparent reason. So the day was kind of short.

I made a self-analysis yesterday, something I haven't done in ages. To try and find out why I was reacting like I did, and it worked. Well, perhaps I should have become a psychologist after all :P. It can be fun finding reasons for why people behave or feel in certain ways, especially when they don't understand it themselves. Besides, enzymes' allosteric regulators don't interest me that much to be honest.

I realised today that we had a test tomorrow. Kind of an evil way to start out after a holiday, don't you think. Well, I haven't had enough time to read the stuff, so I'll just do my best and see what happens. And the trip to Spain (as it now is) with people from univeristy, is proceeding very, very nicely. We're proposing the final plan tomorrow and then reserving the rooms and flight tickets. It has to be a success =D!

I'm getting up at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning, and frankly, I'm not looking forward to it. I probably may not fall asleep tonight before, let's say, 3 o'clock, and that leaves me with around 3 hours worth of sleep. Not enough. I guess tomorrow will be in the sign of coffee. Especially because after the lectures I have to go study effectively since exams are only a little over 2 weeks away. Wish me luck =).

White Screen

2009-01-03T22:06:00.004+01:00

Woke up to rain. First rain this entire week. And of course it was also my first day back at work. It wasn't very nice delivering newspapers and ads in the extreme cold and rain. Some people took pity on me and told me I was doing a good job. I didn't feel very happy. And a man outside on his balcony began telling me jokes outside in the pouring rain/sleet as I was gathering up the newspapers:

A man goes to a doctor and tells him to cure his bad cough. He can't cure it, and has to turn the patient away. The next day another doctor comes and tells the first doctor, that he cured the patient's cough. "How did you do that?", asks the first doctor. "Easy, I just used American Motor Oil", answers the other doctor. "You can't use that! That can't cure a bad cough?!". "Well, look at him cowering outside behind that lamp post. You really think he'll dare to cough again?".

Well, apart from the rain, it went well. It only took me 2,5 hours this time even though there were a lot of badly packed ads. When I came home I slept a bit, played a bit of piano (practiced Tetris a little, and once again forgot to play it for someone..), washed up the dishes and tidied up a bit. And I suddenly remember now that I learnt the English words "dishes" and "pillar" from my Dad when i was playing Rayman and Super Mario 64 on my new Nintendo 64 at the age of 8 or so.

Yesterday I also decided to either do Chinese or Japanese if I have time in February. I got an offer from an evening school that will teach me basic Chinese for quite some time for not a lot of money, and the school isn't far from me. And another school close to where my university is, is offering Japanese courses, but I'm afraid they might be a bit too early in the day for me to not have university classes at the same time. We'll see about it.

I can't find anything fun to do at the moment. I cheer up around other people, because I forget things, but that's about it. Can't you forcefully change your way of thinking? Or forcefully forget something. I once read about a person who couldn't forget anything, and in the end he had to imagine himself writing his memories on a piece of paper and throwing them into a fire, and that was the only way he could forget. Once again the question of personal change; taking a step in the direction you want to go. But what if you don't know what direction is the right one, or a wall is blocking your way forward? This time I think I'll leave it hanging.

Will you remember?

2009-01-02T22:02:00.004+01:00

I calmed down after yesterday. I went to bed really early and slept quite long. And when I woke I felt better. The day today was kind of calm.

The guy I was supposed to play badminton yet slept too long. So we ended up playing at seven in the evening instead. And when the courts were all full, we ended up exploring the sports hall. We found another smaller sports room with a table tennis ball, a volleyball and two goals. And this we used to invent games to play while we waited. It quite fun using your badminton rackets to shoot at the goal with table tennis balls while the other person defends. And some other rules I won't bother explaining here. And afterwards there was some weird gas in the changing rooms so people had to evacuate and change outside. Kind of a weird experience.

When I came home afterwards I gamed a little and that was about it. Tomorrow I'm holding a sort of dinner (with people hopefully bringing their own drinks, I hope it's not necessary for me to have to tell them, since we're all students..) for the people in my group also writing about the domestic pig. Here we get to show each other the work we've done, and hopefully compile it and send it off to our anatomy teacher.

And I got a shitload of newspapers and commercials for delivering tomorrow. I'm not giving up, but I sure am starting to hate it now :P. And it's getting so cold outside. There are ice crystals on every surface. It's weird how much this place changes just because of a small tilt of the Earth compared to the Sun. Imagine placing huge mirrors around the Earth to reflect the sunlight and create an all year round summer. Would you welcome that change? No more winter depression, huge heat bills or freezing outside. But also no sleighing, winter landscapes or hot chocolate by the fire.

University is soon starting again, albeit only for a week and then a weeks reading up for exams. And then the exams. "Tremble mortals and despair. Doom has come to this world, " :P. And then hopefully a brilliant holiday with fellow students to Spain or Portugal, or whatever we end up deciding.

Change

2009-01-01T16:42:00.003+01:00

It's supposed to be the theme of this month. I guess it's a bit connected with New Year's resolutions and all. I haven't really got any. Mostly because I don't know yet if I want to change. I want a new job though. And that's about it.

It's weird, isn't it. Think about yourself 10 years ago. Since then you've certainly changed a lot! But did you ever notice that big change? Over the course of those years it seemed that you weren't changing. It wasn't like your thoughts suddenly were another's, like it may feel to you now. You don't think like that person that was you ten years ago, and yet you can't tell how you came from that person to what you are now. Were you ever afraid when you were young that you might one day think in those weird ways that grown-ups seemed to do? That you would have the same values as them? And did you ever wish now that you could go back to the carefree life of a child, with the naivety and innocence that followed. But no matter how hard we tried, the slow change gradually came upon us without us noticing. But what we can do is to try and look back at every step we take and see if it was a good step. That way, even though we can't stop the change, we can control it so it's only for the better. And this without forgetting our old values.

And now a new year has just begun. Perhaps it's time to look back at the year that passed and see how we changed, if we can notice it at all. It's time to see the good and the bad points and choose a path that we want to take, pursuing our strength and laying behind the weaknesses.

My new year was a bit chaotic like I planned. One of the people cancelled on the night, and at that time we had already bought all the food. A bit annoying. But it was quite a glorious feast, and my fridge has never been as full as it is now :P. And we did enjoy ourselves watching a Danish comedian on TV as well as Sin City (what a fucked up film :P..). Around 10 o'clock we went to a friend I know from Belgium's friend's summerapartment in Copenhagen. Lots of drinking and having fun. The only bad point was my friend from university who tagged along with me and behaved in the most ridiculously bad way and said some quite unacceptable things. He may have been a bit drunk, but so were we, and that doesn't mean you say just anything. It got so bad we wanted to make him leave, and when we succeeded he just went around in a circle and came straigh back after 15min saying he couldn't find his way. And he promptly threw up. Again. And then I decided to leave, and he came with me. A comment from my friend from Belgium: "Try not to kill him".

Other than that, I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year, and I hope you'll make the right choices!!

Climbing Schild's ladder of life

2008-12-31T02:06:00.004+01:00

Wondering what Schild's ladder is? I thought so. And guess what, it's not as simple as it sounds: Look here. And don't tell me I didn't warn you :P.

I don't know what it is about Belgium. But it makes you want to sleep long. There was not a single day while I was there when I was out of bed before 11 o'clock (I think my average time of getting up was around 12.30 :P). But today I woke at 9 o'clock already by myself. It was weird. And managed to do a lot of thigns today, from washing to playing badminton and unpacking.

Tomorrow's New Year and I predict it will be a bit chaotic. I'll just have to take things as they come, I have no definite plans for anything :P. And I should probably begin reading up on biochemistry for the exams, as well as write that weird article about domestic pigs for anatomy class.

And I found the weirdest thing in the supermarket today. I bought a burger that you can simply heat and eat for lunch. But the packaging was very weird. I didn't notice it until I got home. On the front of the package the text was written in Flemish and French, the languages I'm so used to from everyday Belgian life. But this was bought in a Danish shop. It made no sense. I'm so used to reading it I didn't even notice it when I bought it. I imagine normal Danish people notice it immediately and think it's kind of weird. Which it is. And on the backside of the packaging the text was in Danish, which is even stranger. A combination of Denmark and Belgium in one burger. Quite a serendipity (how I love that word) I must say.

In other news, there are no other news (I could be bothered to write about right now). Except perhaps that my hair is getting very long and I'm getting more smiles from girls than usual, and wondering if it's connected or not. Hmm, the world is full of mystery :P.. (look here and here)

Am I blind?

2008-12-29T00:37:00.004+01:00

I slept until three o'clock yesterday and played a lot of wii with my brother. That's all I remember :P. What an unsignificant day.

Today I had my old friend from Belgium (who now studies in Warwick, England) visiting. We had loads of fun. Talked a lot, played wii and cards (not just any type of cards; hint: MTG). Didn't go for a walk with my family because of a series of annoying decisions by my parents that kept making it impossible to find the time for it. It had to be the perfect time of day with perfect weather and temperature. And of course they manage to postpone it every day except today, when my friend is coming over. I'm getting the feeling that they aren't that enthousiastic about going on a walking trip after all :P.. Ah well.

We also spoke about holidays today. My dad says we'll probably go to Iceland this summer and my grandmother invited me and my brother to New York or another place in the US of choice afterwards. I'm looking forward to it =D. My grandmother has been to 90% of the countries in the world. It's quite incredible. In two weeks she's off to China for "only the 15th time" according to herself. Well, she's worked a lot of her life in an airline company, so she gets both hotels and flights for nearly no money at all. And it works for family members as well. New York (or other random destination of choice in the US) here i come =D! (And Iceland sounds really cool, but my Dad HAS been known to make empty promises, and this wasn't even a promise, sooooo..)

I'm going home to Denmark tomorrow with my suitcase stuffed with presents and food (yes, my Mum insisted..) so I will have enough cakes and sweets to live on for a month. It's going to a be a bit weird getting back. There's New Year, which I'm looking forward to, and exams and back to university again and all. It's weird, it feels like a whole other world right now.

I'd better get some rest. Travelling always drains me of my energy, and I need it for getting home :P. Cya!

Duck

2008-12-26T17:44:00.003+01:00

Uhm, and I also found this: Quite fitting, isn't it? Now, how can I make this thing sit to the left of the title..

Je ne parles pas français en ook niet nederlands

2008-12-26T17:15:00.003+01:00

Sorry for not posting the last two-three days. I've been kind of busy with all kinds of stuff. I'll just give a brief summary:

Christmas was great! Got loads of good presents, and it's going to be impossible for me to get it all home in my suitcase, so my dad told me he'll drive the rest of my presents up to me in Denmark. Well, it's only more than a thousand kilometres plus you need to take a ferry and all, but what the hell :P. Of noteworthy presents are: A toaster, an external 500GB hard drive, a multifunctional pump, two great books, a special scarf designed fr biking, designer bowls/dishes, a full pizza slicing and eating set, black towels, a glow-in-the-dark condom (from my little brother, wtf :P..), a steak knife set and a really nice painting. Oh, and I also won the almond prize and got a huge pig made of marzipan.
I had two friends visiting yesterday. We really had a good time. Lots of playing table football (yes I have a table football game, but it was too big to have in my apartment in Denmark..) and I'm getting quite good now =D. I'm also abusing my parents' amount of food a tiny bit, but well :P.. They always ask me if I eat enough, so I'd better do it now that I have the chance =).
Today we went to see the film "The Day the Earth Stood Still". It was a good film and I can recommend it. A little weird at times but great graphics, so go see it. And it's a bit cold outside. I'd never think I'd hear myself say it, but I'm really looking forward to summer! And my Dad kept asking in the car if I shouldn't get a girlfriend soon, now that I've been in Denmark for three whole months or so. Grr, sometimes he really annoys me.. I neither have time nor do I think I want to, I'm still not completely over my last one =(..

Well, that about sums these last three days up very briefly.
Happy holidays to all of you!

Oh yes.

2008-12-24T02:09:00.003+01:00

Merry christmas!!

And now that that's said I'll MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Yes.. ok.. again.. that was uncalled for..

In other news. Today was quite fun. Went for a five hour walk (without breaks) in the woods and I got to see a lot of cool things. I chanced upon the railway when I took a path I hadn't taken before and stood about 5 metres away when a high speed train passed by. That was really a scary experience. I also saw ducks.

And, darkness here in Belgium first begins to fall at around half past five to six o'clock!! I feel cheated that it happens so much earlier in Denmark :P. No wonder I felt the days were so very short there, when I'm used to this lavish delivery of sunshine. Cold and dark Denmark. But I like it anyway =D.

I was used as a translator today when we watched the Miss Belgium competition in tv. One of our neighbour's daughter was a contestant, but she didn't win unfortunately. It was weird realising that I could sit and translate from both French and Flemish into Danish. I'd never fully realised it before. It's ind of freakish that I understand so many languages. Perhaps I should give up Japanese. --- Nah.. Never :P.

Had a conversation about coolness today with a girl in Denmark. And I rediscovered how scary it is when people read your thoughts, dude! Seriously, imagine a world where girls could go like: "Don't even think about that!" and actually would KNOW if you thought it or not. Scary.

Not much more from sunny and warm (oh yeah, 15 degrees outside all day, baby) Belgium.

I love holidays ;D!

2008-12-23T01:48:00.003+01:00

Just arrived in Belgium this afternoon. I sat next to two Danish girls on the plane who studied biochemistry and who were on the way to climb the mountain Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. I was pretty impressed. We talked a bit about random stuff and economy etc. Quite nice.

Other than that, a pretty nice day. It was nice seeing my family again, and my grandmother came here too. My mother has become a bit thinner, but it's far from as extreme as I'd first imagined. We talked a lot about the operation and my grandfathers death and funeral and about my life in general. Also discovered my brother had been SO close to buying me an Xbox 360 (which I want so much), but he hadn't been bothered because it was a bit heavy to carry. And it had been a specially extreme low price, much lower than I'd heard about anywhere else. And they kept asking if I ate enough at home, and telling me that my hair was getting just a "little" long :P.. I guess that's what parents/grandmothers HAVE to say :P.

I always get very sleepy from travelling (and it became pretty late because I stayed up talking with my mum and grandmother) so I'll go to bed now. Goodnight ^_^!

Pursuer of Dreams

2008-12-21T22:44:00.002+01:00

Just finished packing everything for tomorrow. I had to STUFF some of the presents in there, I hope they won't break :P. I'm taking the plane early afternoon tomorrow to go back to Belgium for christmas. I'm looking forward to meeting my family again and I hope for a nice christmas =).

I woke today at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I thought it was early morning because it was still dark outside, but no, it was evening. Not really any more news than that. I felt a bit sick from the night and I can still kind of taste the alcohol. Gross..

Well, not much more from here today!

Proud

2008-12-21T04:46:00.002+01:00

I can barely keep my balance right now. I'm pretty proud that I'm reallly able to write this, even though I got a lot of help and it's going really slow. And I'm having such a random conversatison with another drunk guy who studies in London :D.

I can't write anything more. It'll go so wrong. Also speaking to a girl from Portufal right now. I wonder what she thinks of me :P...

So, goodnight!!

Wow

2008-12-20T02:57:00.002+01:00

Started today with badminton and gift shopping with a friend, then had two friends over, one of them baking bacon. And had an ultimate weird conversation with the guy afterwards. "BeKON", wtf :P. But fun it was.

Christmas dinner was. Great. I'm so drunk at the moment of writing this, it's ridiculous. Had loads of fun there, played games and talked a lot. Found out my hair colour was kinda neutral/boring and talked about colouring it darker. I'm considering it. And a girl told me I was a great guy, and I smiled a lot at that (positive way).

And I also got my belated birthday present from one of my friends today. A Mao t-shirt. An inside joke of course. I laughed so much at it. And I got that ugly Chinese doll I so much wanted to have, at that christmas dinner gift game. And my carrot cake I also got, was baked by three girls, and they kind of killed it. Poor carrot cake =(. I knew it was a bad idea to let them bake it for me :P.

And now it's bedtime. Tomorrow is another christmas dinner. I hope it doesn't get too much out of hand!

The evening report

2008-12-18T21:31:00.004+01:00

In other news. Today was sort of fleeting. Went to Copenhagen again, bought a few more presents (I should have enough now, I've bought for so much money now). I also wrapped some gifts and washed clothes in preparation for travelling back to Belgium on Monday. I'm looking forward to christmas.

And I also realise how much I like the new friends I've made at university. I wish I could tell them in some way how great people they are and that I'm so happy I've met them, in a way that didn't sound stupid :P.

The noise of childhood

2008-12-17T22:37:00.002+01:00

Yeah, I remembered it again today. That noise. And the weird gray lines. Nearly slipped into that state of mind again. Stayed there for almost five minutes I think. I'm happy that time is over.

I have no idea what happened today. Everyone in comparative anatomy think I'm colour-blind now. They think I can't see the difference between blue and green. That type of colour blindness doesn't even exist. Tritanopia is the closest to that type of colour blindness. But it's so rare that it's nearly impossible. And even if I had that, I would also confuse yellow with violet. As I said I don't know what happened. I just said it as a joke. And they all believed it.. And I just couldn't get myself to say it was a joke, it was so funny to see their reactions. I'll tell them tomorrow.

I don't like that it's so easy for me to convince people something is true.. It's the same as in games, I've been told I'm nearly a perfect bluffer. Some people from my old school said they were happy I didn't lie in real life to get things. I did that when I was little, I know. I even made grownups do stuff they shouldn't have done. Yeah, I wasn't very nice I guess :P. But that's the past, don't be scared.

I went Copenhagen to buy gifts and I found almost all that I needed. And I nearly decided to buy an Xbox 360. I've heard much bad about the PS3 and the Wii is not for me (my little brother has one anyway).

I'm tired now and I'll go to sleep. Goodnight!

Sometimes green and blue are the same

2008-12-16T20:24:00.006+01:00

I was so tired after today. I don't really know what it was. And the stuff we're doing now in biochemistry is quite frankly the Sausage of Death. Yeah, that expression may not make sense and that's exactly what biochemistry is not either at the moment. And I really don't like the lecturer, he sucks.

Nothing much else to say today. I finished reading The Little Prince. I can strongly recommend the book. It's quite frankly, genius. And I started a new book I also got as a present called Schild's Ladder. A science fiction book; one of the grand ones. I found out it's in the same league as Revelation Space, a book I read about a month ago. They're special because of the fact that they introduce completely new ideas not seen anywhere else before. And that they're mindboggling and make you think about a lot of things. I've only read about 20 pages and I'm already hooked.

Oh yeah. I fixed my keyboard problem by doing a system restore. Now half of my pc is fucked though. Shitty price to pay for just three letters. I'm slowly fixing things, right now I'm fighting with Firefox not wanting to open.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping for presents to my grandmother and an elder woman who lives in my apartment complex. I'm blank concerning what to buy, but going to Copenhagen tomorrow. I'll find some new ideas there, I hope.

Hmm, I'd like to say something intelligent here. But nothing really comes to mind. Wo bu zhong guo - I am not China; about sums up what I've learnt about Chinese language structure so far. So I'm finishing this post by quoting a famous chinese philosopher:

Ching lung hua gong gong gong er chungling gua karaoke.
Chong ching-chang namnam.
Ni men you fan yi yuan ma? Shi, wo chou yin. Duo xie.

The mirror of your soul is affected by alcohol

2008-12-15T20:13:00.004+01:00

Or that's about the gist of what a guy told me today at a Christmas fair. He operated a kind of psychic healing stand or whatever it was supposed to be. I saw a sign where he claimed that you could get perfect eyesight if you follow ten of his courses. I asked him about this and he spoke about how the eyes are the mirror of the soul and that they're connected to your liver through energy lines. (Shift to Vector Cannon Mode. All energy lines connected. Landing gear and climbing irons locked. Inner chambing pressure rising normally. Life ring has started revolving. Ready to fire. BOOOOM!!) Yes. Basically; don't drink!

Both today and yesterday were pure genius. I had the nicest birthday ever, with so cool gifts and loads of fun the whole day. The bowling was really great. I hadn't bowled for years :P. I'm really, really happy it went so well, and they even enjoyed my attempt at baking and making cakes. Success =D! And today I saw a part of Copenhagen I had heard a lot about but never really seen. And honestly, I can't understand why so much bad is said about it. True enough, it's different. Very much different. Almost like stepping into another world. Couldn't kind of shake the feeling away that I was back to that hippie gardening/nature spirit community that, no matter how hard I try, I can't remember the name of.

I fell asleep as soon I got home today after my little city adventure. I think I had weird dreams like usual, but this time I can't remember. Another thing. I'm learning the English keybaord layout by heart. I don't know what's wrong with my pc, but whenever I set it to the Danish language keyboard layout it doubles some characters. It's really annoying. It doesn't do it with other languages. So I've set it to English now. It's extremely different than what I'm used to, but I'm learning. The only annoying thing is that I can't write the three special Danish characters æ, ø and å easily anymore. I have to use the old trick I learnt in Belgium where we didn't have keyboards with inbuilt Danish charaters. Alt+145, alt+155 and alt+134 are the three commands for the characters. God knows how I should have found this out for myself :P.

I've begun reading Le Petit Prince - The Little Prince. It's really a cool book.

Remember how my mum has been in hospital and everything this last month? Well, bad things never come alone as I've experienced. My grandfather died three days ago. I cannot say I hadn't seen it coming. But that doesn't make it any less scary or sad. It's really been a hard year for my family. I don't think this christmas will be like the others. My grandfather was always one of the people who made christmas special. He always made the best christmas dinners you can imagine. And I remember as a child when he would dress up as santa claus and deliver presents to the children and I told him I was SURE I had seen santas sleigh parked on top the roof. We'll miss him..

Reaching out to catch the sun. To hold it in our hands. Longing for something strong to hide our weakness. Soon the light may disappear. Nothing is meant to last. Yet we believe our world. Searching for happiness. The blue bird flies away.

Ato sanbyaku meetoru de migi ni magarimasu

2008-12-13T22:31:00.005+01:00

"After three hundred metres please turn right", says my GPS in Japanese and I end up in front of the hugest lake. I was quite surprised. I had no idea there was this huge a lake so close to where I live. And I just realised today that if there was a university course that studied time, I would probably be attending that.

Time is fascinating and I wish we could somehow learn to know it better and perhaps get an understanding of how to change it. I know it would be chaos and all hell would break lose and that it could be misused big time. But I'd still like to know how you can put a clock in a spacecraft and let it travel quickly around the Earth a few days, and then pull it back in, and see that time on board the spacecraft has passed slower than time on Earth. I really don't understand it. I remember doing calculations about how time would change depending on how fast you went. But how..

I made the coolest presents for my brother this Christmas, really spent a lot of time on it. I'm so happy we share the same type of completely random humour, and THIS item is surely a piece of art in what concerns randomness. He'll laugh himself to death trying to open this thing. I won't reveal anything more than that :P.

I've been busy these last two days. Delivering newspapers, wrapping gifts, cleaning, buying food and drinks and everything else that needs to be done that takes time. That's why I'm going to bed a bit early today. Looking forward to tomorrow! (My birthday :D).

What's in a name?

2008-12-11T22:11:00.035+01:00

Yeah, another way to ask: What is reality actually? Do we all see the same reality? The answer is invariably no. We create our own realities. Let me try to explain. The following are the thoughts of a boy who wanted to run away from everything in life. Don't worry, this text is not about me.

Rain. Dark shadows of gloom hang above me. That's how I feel. This isn't how I wish it to be.
The setting sun. The ending of life. This is not how I wish it to be.
Morning. The beginning of a day. The beginning of another terrible day. This is not how I wish it was.
Blue sky. Something warm. Something unfamiliar. Something that fills me with horror. I don't want this. I don't want it to be this way.

Everything! Everything! I hate everything!

What do you wish?
Do you fear anxiety?
What do you want?
Do you want peace of mind?
What do you want?
Don't hate me!
Don't hate me, please!

What I fear is..
Rejection
What I want is..
Another's touch, anothers respect
Can I stay next to you?
May I stay here?
Do you like me?
Do you love..
..your mother?

Do you want to be with your real mother?
No. I don't.
Do you want to be with your father?
No. I don't.
Why not?

Because I'm afraid

I'm afraid of being hated.
My identity might start to disappear.

And so?

What is it that you wish?
Dissolution of Anxiety
What is it that you want?
Erasure of Loneliness

You're very insecure, aren't you?
To become secure I have to..
Value! I want to be worth something!
I want to be worth enough to attract the attention of others!

You seek your own value.

That is something you have to find for yourself.
You have to find your own value for yourself.

That's why I do the one thing I'm good at

I have no value without it.
My life is worthless without it.
Then, what are you?
Then, what am I?
What am I?!

Your body

Ths is..
..me!
This is the Shape that lets others recognise me as myself.
It is my symbol for myself.
This is..
This is..

Your name

.. a representation of myself. Everything is merely a description,
not my real self..
Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognise me as me.
But then what am I?

What am I?

Your memories

Is this me?
My true self?
My fake self?
You are you.
There is little difference between how you interpret yourself and how others interpret you.
Right.

My clothes..
My shoes..
My room..
These are all parts of what make up my Self.
These things are connected through your consciousness.

So what I think is me, is me.
What I recognise as Self is myself.
But I don't understand my Self.
Where am I?
What am I?
What am I?

You wished for a barrier, a wall to seal off your world.

Nobody understands me!
What are you. Stupid? Of course noone understands you!
Nobody can ever understand you.
The only one who can take care of you and understand you is you, yourself.
So you must take care of yourself.
But I still don't understand myself!
I don't even know what it is that makes me myself!!
How could I love myself?!

You are afraid.

You are still unstable.
That is, the present you.
And the people around the present you.
And the environment that surrounds the present you.
None of these last forever.
Time continues to flow, and time brings change.
Your world is in a state of constant change.
You are capable of change anytime your Mind perceives these changes.

Emptiness

What is this?
A world of nothing?
A world with nobody in it?
This is the world of perfect freedom.
Freedom?
A world of perfect freedom, a world in which you have no restrictions.
Is this really freedom?
Yes, that is what it is.
However this world has nothing in it.
Unless I do something?
Right, unless you do or think something.
But..
..I don't know what to do or think!
He is uncertain.
He has no self image to orient himself.
There's nothing solid here.
It is a world in which there are no obstacles.

This is true freedom?

This is a world in which you can do anything you wish.
But you're afraid, aren't you?
Don't you know what it is that you want to do?
What should I do?
Let me give you a restriction.

Law of gravity and a floor

There! Now you have a top and bottom.
But you've lost a degree of your freedom.
Now you must stand on the ground.
But now you feel easier, don't you?
You have less to trouble your mind.
And now, you can walk.
This is happening because you will it to be.

Is this my will?
This world with the floor is the only thing around yourself.
But now you can move around to anywhere you wish to within it.
You could even turn the world upside down if you wanted to do that.
And the position of your world is not the same either.
It changes with the passage of time.
You can change yourself as well.
What forms your shape is its interaction with the world that surrounds you.
You can do anything here, because this is your world.
This is the shape of your reality.

What is reality?

What is this?
An empty space.
An empty world.
A world where nothing exists but me.
With only myself, I have nothing to interact with.
It's as if I'm here but not here at all.
It's as if I'm slowly fading out of existence.

Why?

Because only you are here.
Only myself?
Without others to interact with, you cannot truly recognise your own image.
My own image?

The image of myself?

That's right. In the act of observing others, you may find and recognise yourself.
Your image of yourself is restrained by having to observe the barriers between yourself and others.
And yet, you can not see yourself without the presence of others.
When there are others, I can perceive myself as an individual.
If I'm alone, then I will be the same as everything else.

There will be no difference between myself and nothing!

By recognising the differences between yourself and others, you establish your identity as yourself..
The very first other person is your mother.
Your mother is a different individual.
Right, I am me and she is her!
But are you really sure that others form my Self?

It's true.

Man, has it taken you this long to realise this simple fact?!
You idiot!

You have a choice in how you live

I see, this is another possiblity..
..another possible world.
The current myself is the same way, it's not my true self.
I can be any way I wish to be.
I see, I can exist being different from what I am now as well!

If you take that into consideration, perhaps this world isn't so bad.
Still, even though the reality itself might not be bad, I could still hate myself.

It's your mind which takes reality and separates it into what's bad and hateful.
It is only the mind which separates reality from truth.
The position from which you view your reality will change your perception of its nature.
It is all, literally, a matter of perspective.
There are as many truths as there are people.
But there is only one truth that is your truth.
That is the one that is formed by whatever narrow point of view you choose to view it from.
It's a perception that protects you from the twisted truth.
That's true, and sometimes one can have a perspective that is far too small.
But a person can only see things from the perspective that they choose.

One must learn to judge all things by the perceived truths that one receives from others.
For example, sunny days make you feel good.
Rainy days make you feel gloomy.
If you are told this is so, then that is what you will believe to be so.
But you can have fun on a rainy day as well.
Your truth can be changed simply by the way you accept it.
That's how fragile the truth for a human is.
A person's truth is so simple that most ignore it to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths.
You, for example, are simply unused to what it is like to be liked by others.
You've never learned to deal with the fear of how other's feel about you, so you avoid it.
But don't others hate me?

What are you. Stupid? It's all in your imagination!
But I hate myself.
One who truly hates himself cannot love.
He cannot place his trust in another.

I'm a coward.
I'm cowardly, sneaky and weak.

Now that you know yourself, you can take care of yourself.

I hate myself.
But I could love myself.
Maybe my life could have a greater value.
That's right! I am no more or less than myself!
I am me!
I want to be myself!
I want to continue existing in this world!
I am worth living here!!

Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!

Thank you all!

Thank you to my father
Good bye to my mother.
And to all of the children..

Congratulations!

Memories of rope bridges, the secret forest mansion and everything that follows

2008-12-10T16:42:00.014+01:00

A long time ago (or so it seems) I lived in a completely different world. Stories, bike trips and astral travel. The exploring in the huge forest and the adventures in that old large building in the middle of it. We only got to explore it once a year and every year we found something new. I remember how we always found a new way to get to a place we hadn't been. The hidden cellar full of old books, ancient furniture, weird metal numbers and old coins, the attic full of doves and mirrors and the huge glass room with the weird faded photo albums of trees and people. And everywhere the candles and red feathers. And those weird messages on the walls. And that day when we entered the room full of running computers in a normally locked part of the building in the forest and ran away because it was too scary. We never did manage to get back to that underground hospital again, which was hidden under the old building. I remember how we used our phones to light up the rooms because there was no light. I haven't been scared like that before. There was always another unlocked door that we could open, we kept going forward getting deeper and deeper underground. The things we found there were scary. The pictures and tools we found there. All around the dusty air and the darkness. It was like a dream, it didn't seem real, too much like a horror movie. When we tried returning next year, we couldn't find our way in again. Doors that used to be open were now locked. So that year we missed our chance. Of course, had we looked better, we would have found the open window that appeared to be locked, but actually wasn't. There was always a way, but that year we missed the one day where we could get all the way back. It was like a film, but it was all real. That was last year. The day of exploring this year passed last Saturday and we won't be able to enter until next year. I hope I'll make it back next year, there is so much more to discover. And I'll be sure to bring a flashlight.

So much has changed since then.

Sorry for reminiscing. It sounds like some story I just made up or something, I know, but all this actually happened. What happened in that old building in the middle of the forest is just too hard to properly explain.

It was once an old mansion, and later a huge horse riding track was built next to it together with a stadium where people could bet on horses. But all this was many, many years ago. Only one day a year in connection with a fair, the power is returned to the whole building, and that's when it's possible to enter a hidden area of the place. Me and a friend found the place by chance one day and we've been back the same day each year and explored further. Every year we've found something new, it's really really freakish, like we're being shown something more each time. There is an old elevator behind three locked doors. But every year we've been there, different doors have been locked. There was always a way to get past them though. One year a huge window had been destroyed, so we could crawl through that and get past the first door. Here was a stair leading down and ending in a huge door. And it was unlocked. Behind it was a huge room without any windows. In the middle of it was a round table and on it were stacked at least 10 computers with unknown people sitting around them. I'm afraid to say that we both turned around and ran away from all this. It was so weird. What were they doing in there? They had nothing to do with the fair..

The next year we came back, this time with a Flemish friend I knew. The window had been replaced by someone but now the two first doors were open. We tried going down the stairs again but the big door leading to the computer room was locked this time. There was also an elevator. He came back down again and told us it had stopped at a weird area, but that it was completely alright to use the elevator.

I don't know where the idea came from, but one of us pressed the elevator call button and it arrived once again, empty. I'm afraid to say I wasn't the one to use the elevator first to check out one of the floors (I've always had a fear of elevators suddenly crashing). The friend I had explored this building with first time the year before went into the elevator. I asked what the hell he was doing and that he could be stuck and everything, but he just told me to call the police if that was the case. I watched the doors close and thought, shit, this is totally fucked up. A click, and the elevator ascended. The humming soon ended and we stood breathless, waiting. Another click, a hum and silence. What was going on? About a minute went by and then the humming started again. It came back up. As the doors slid open I sort of half expected the elevator to be empty, but he was there. He told us that there were three floors. We were on the second.

We went up one floor and entered a sort of old bar. There were refridgerators here and glass windows looking high over the woods, but there seemed to be no power. And it looked so unused. There were still glasses and furniture but everything was covered with dust. Then a really scary thing happened. because the elevator was moving. And it really shouldn't. Really freaked out we ran to a small alcove and hid behind some chairs. I was totally freaked out and just wanted to get away from there. It seemed like some kind of horror story taking place in real life and I just couldn't believe it. Then the humming stopped and we could hear the elevator opening but nothing happened. A click, and the doors closed again and the elevator went on its way down once again. Relieved we got out from our hiding.

The bottom floor had ended in a small, dark corridor leading in a direct line from the elevator and then turning a corner. He had been to that corner and saw that a set of stairs led down into a sort of semi-darkness where he could make out a corridor with many doors at each side. But he didn't want to go on alone.

I don't know why, but we all three got into the elevator. If the power went now, we would truly be fucked I remember thinking. But we got to the bottom floor alright and went down the corridor trying the doors as we went by. There were a few small windows at the beginning of the hall providing some light, but it was still quite dark. All the doors were locked though and the others said we should probably go back up again. But I sort of had the feeling that this was all a sort of game and wanted to see if this weird luck of there always being one single door open could be true. As we reached the last door in the corridor I said to the others: "If this door is open, then I am officially freaked out and something not normal is going on". I actually half-expected it to be open. As I pulled down the handle and pushed the door opened smoothly.

We couldn't open the door completely. We soon found out why: An old table had been put on the other side of the door, partly blocking it. But we could press ourselves through the narrow opening as we went one by one. I remember going first and standing breathless waiting for the other two to get inside in the now complete darkness inside. I took up my mobile phone and used it to light a short distance around me and so did the other. The room was huge. And it was connected through open doorways to what seemed to be many, many other rooms (probably the ones behind the locked doors). On the floor were all sort of weird things. We found weird files and pictures and notes. There were weird schematics for what looked like really complicated machines. I couldn't help myself from imagining that this was some horrible place and that something would come out of the darkness and get us. But there was complete silence.

We started going further into the place using our phones, being very careful. I can't really explain what we saw there. Weird things. It's still kind of like a dream to me. I remember finding what looked like schematic for a diving chamber. And all those weird rooms. Completely dark and silent. I remember a room with a ladder having been placed in the middle of the room, just standing there. And I remember when we found a old, rusten defibrillator (the machine you use to send shocks through someones heart when they undergo cardiac arrest). Especially that freaked us out. And that's when we decided to leave the place. We never got to go into all the dark rooms, even though they continued for quite a while probably. And everywhere were papers on the ground. It was just too much. I took a weird metal thing I found lying on the ground with me and I still have it today.

We decided we would go back again next year and properly explore the place, but we couldn't find the way in. We found that there had been way later though. I thought that the rule of there always being a way worked, so I went there with the friend one day in the weekend and we started looking. And when I tried pressing on a window, it sort of clicked a bit and could then be opened. We helped each other haul ourselves up and climb through to the corridor on the other side. But the power in the building is only there once a year, so the elevator was dead..

There is also an old mansion that we've explored which lies right next to the old stadium building. In it we found an attic with mirrors and doves both dead and living everywhere. And there was a glass room in there as well full of weird pictures of trees and candles and red feathers everywhere on the ground. And weird writing on the walls which said sort of prophesising things like "the power is inside you" and "this is the house where dreams come true". And just last year we found a cellar entrance hidden in the side of the house. The entrance is hidden behind some trees, and you can't get into the cellar through the house, you need to go from outside. Down there was complete darkness, but this time I had a flashlight. What we found there I still don't quite understand. We found lots of burnt candles and a stack of old rusten numbers spread out on the ground. There didn't seem to be any real pattern and it was quite freakish. As we went further we found old books spread out everywhere on the ground as well as pieces of broken furniture. And weirdest of all were the pictures. Albums of old and young people with distorted faces and warped colours. And they all seemed to have something old, brown and sticky on them. And it looked a whole lot like blood, but I don't want to think about it. I also found what looked like a pill case, but it was full of old coins and I brought that home with me too and I have that as well.

One day I will return to that place again, perhaps this winter if I can. It's the most different and surreal place I've ever found in my life and it has some of the weirdest and probably most frightening secrets. I wonder what happened to the place. Why is all the furniture still there. Who put all the candles there and who wrote the things on the walls? And what the hell are those computers for, and where do you get power one day of the year in the middle of a huge forest? So many things to find out and so little time =).

This post has been too long. Once I started writing all the memories of that place just came back and I just had to write down what I was seeing in my mind, reliving it. I'm going to end this post on a whole other note. Something I found on the internet a long time ago and that still seems surprising to me. Can you read and understand it too?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid, too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe tuo fo 100 anc.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Meh..

2008-12-09T22:01:00.004+01:00

Depressing day. Nothing much to say.

I failed to get up an hour earlier like I wanted to, being woken up by my alarm after a nightmare of me cutting open snakes and seeing yellow fat bodies, that looked like the ones in the frogs we dissected at university, crawling and wiggling their way out of its body. Gross. So I just laid there on my bed drifting in and out of sleep for the next hour until I finally managed to get up.

It was cold, dark and raining outside. Noone to greet my by the bus stop and noone I knew in the bus. I nearly didn't speak to any of the people I normally speak a lot with, I don't know what it was. Got to play some cards and do exercises, and I forgot to buy lunch which I felt quite strongly when I realised I had three hours left without breaks and no chance to get anything. And then our teacher began talking about food. Not fun.

I'm slowly beginning to shop for a true feast of cake/buns and "æbleskiver"; a typical danish type of dessert thing for my birthday. I'm really in trouble with paying everything since I also have to pay for the bowling alley rent. So I've been saving on everything for myself the last week now to fund it :P. Every second glass i drink now has to be water from the tap. This way bottles of coke or whatever last twice as long as usual! And I've been eating oatmeal porridge for breakfast every day now, because it's cheap and there's a whole lot of it in a package (yeah, I AM getting tired of it now :P). I'm looking forward to getting my money back! If for some reason I can't get them back, I seriously will do something drastic (eg. tell my parents)!

One good thing though. I've decided to get another job. And I've already found the right one for me. Thanks to people at the university recommending it to me! I'm 99% sure they'll hire me. And the pay is good and they give bonuses too. Only problem is you have to be 19 to take the job.. But then I realised that's only in a week! Joy :D!

Don't know yet what I'll do with my old one, maybe I'll just keep it as well. I looked into the company and it seemed that they've been known to pay an excessively low pay and they've even been to court and in the media here in Denmark and all kinds of things. Just great I didn't know that before I took the job. But well, I'll survive on the inhuman pay for now =). I'm not giving up. Never :P. Delivering newspapers makes me get up early and keeps me fit ^_^! And I get the occasional large clementine from a friendly woman, and that makes my day =)!

And a girl just told me she has bad news for me on msn. I just kind of expected that actually :P. Seems an agreement we had has been postponed. Ah well, that happens, and I can't blame her. She does have a valid excuse :P. It's just funny that all bad things come in cascades. Haven't you noticed that too? Bad things never come alone.

次の朝は常に嬉しいです。

In Japanese that means: The following morning is always delightful. It's a typical saying. Ok, I just made that up, but what the hell :P. If the saying doesn't exist, then it should =)!

I'm sure tomorrow will be a good day.

Wakey, wakey!!

2008-12-08T23:29:00.006+01:00

Up at 6 o'clock this morning after having fallen asleep at 2 o'clock the night before. Woke up directly from a nightmare about a weird form of tree that wanted to kill me and my family (because I had said no to being friends with it) growing in the kitchen of my old house. And it could hear every little whisper we said, and my mum was in the kitchen and she refused to stop talking, and she started cutting it with a miniscule pair of scissors and I was freaked out and then my alarm clock rang. And I was completely awake. For the first ten seconds or so.

This is the first morning I have ever drunk coffee. I made it extra strong. And, let me tell you, wow :P. I became hyper. I've never been so awake a monday morning at the bus stop standing in the still dark, freezing madness that is the bus stop at monday morning daybreak. I thought it would only last a little while. But no. It lasted the whole afternoon. I even tried to take a nap (because that's what I usually do, since I'm normally completely exhausted). But I couldn't fall asleep. It's completely insane, I know. I actually felt like doing stuff! So I read some (not biochemistry :P) and practiced some piano; I can now almost play the Tetris theme flawlessly with two hands. And it reminded me of the Ducktales theme, so I'm gonna see if I can't find the sheet music for that and learn it too. But of course the coffee-boost lasted only so long. And I eventually had that nap. And boy were my dreams fucked. I feel like sharing, so you can see how fucked my midday nap dreams sometimes are. Don't worry if you don't understand everything. It has a lot to do with everything I thought about today. I think almost every thought today was in that dream in some completely absurd way. For example, I had written my parents a Christmas wish list and got an email about details of a registration system for university (somethink called punkt.ku) before I fell asleep. Well, enough of the explanations, here is the dream:

It started at home, in my old house that is. I was talking to my mum about going to university. I somehow knew what the time was and I knew it would take me thirty minutes to get to the university, but classes would begin in ten minutes. My mum, who was at the time sowing a fullsized double bed out of silk strings, told me that I had lots of time. And I believed her, because I could see the non-existant logic in what she said. Then I went and found the Christmas presents I had bought for my family and put them in our driveway. Which looked a lot like a driveway into a parking cellar (you know, those circular roads that you use to drive up and down levels). I have no idea why I placed them in the middle of the driveway, I just put them on a line there, because I knew it was the right thing to do. And about a second later my dad, who for some reason had been out collecting my brother, drives into the driveway with crazy speed, running over all the presents. I'm completely shocked, not because all the presents have escaped miracolously and are in perfect condition, but because now they've seen what they're getting for Christmas. I once again enter the house and start speaking to my mum. She says (while sowing frantically; the double bed is now nearly finished, made entirely out of silk threads) that I should better drink some alcohol. And bam! That comment makes me drunk on the spot. In my drunk state I now realise that the lecture started two minutes ago, and I try to decide if I should go or not. I decide to go, and realise by the same non-existant logic that you so often find in dreams, that I will only be two minutes late if I leave immediately.

And then I'm in the lecture hall. And it's nothing like how it looks in reality. It's a sort of cinema, with sofas and armchairs. "This is my first real lecture", I think in the dream, "and I'm really looking forward to meeting my lecturer in English". Because that was what I was taking my Bachelor's degree in. During the first lesson we would be handed out the books in English literature. The first thing I noticed was that our lecturer was Danish, seemed to be quite a nice guy and wore huge, pink glasses which resembled diving goggles with an including snorkle. I shook hans with him, because he wanted to know each of us personally, and I thought that was quite a different approach than I was used to. Then he kind of disappears and I start talking with some of the people in the hall (some were real people from my real university class). I noticed they were all eating cake.

I was still extremely drunk, and I couldn't really keep my balance and I kept falling down into the huge sofas. I actually didn't really want the cake for some reason. But as I went into a small corridor in the side of the hall a girl is standing there while cutting a piece of cake for herself, and I see there are nearly no cake slices left. She is sort of mumbling to herself, and then asks me in a whisper if I want the piece of cake. I gladly accept and start eating it. I go back into the hall and start talking to a guy that also exists in my real university class. Now both our mouths are full of cake and when we speak it sounds really really weird. In the beginning it only sounds muffled, but soon both our voices change completely to some really high pitched, tube-like, sci-fi sounds that sound a lot like a duck quacking in a falsetto voice (yes, that was what I thought in the dream). We can't understand a word, so I go back into the corridor by half jumping half flying.

Here I understand that a girl I know has stolen a guy's university access card (we all have one of those at my real university) and for some reason it has been given to me. Right next to the cake tray is a small pincode scanner. I swipe the card in front of it and it beeps. For some reason I instinctively reach my hand out to the keypad and press a small icon called delete. A confirmation screen comes up asking if I really want to do it (that is; delete the person who owned the card). By some unknown way I know that it would be wrong to do it. And suddenly and old secretary-like woman appears and tells me that yes, it would be wrong of me to do it. So I remove the card and the machine logs out again. I once again enter the hall.

Here I strike up a conversation with the guy again, feeling more drunk than ever. But suddenly he starts saying weird dut-dut-dut noices. And then I start doing the same. I keep repeating the same word again and again. I can't control it, and I can't move. And people begin flying all around the room. And they're flying so fast they begin spelling names in the air. And I suddenly realise that someone had hacked all our university cards via the punkt.ku web portal system and used it to control us all like robots.

I then opened my eyes (waking up in real life) but I was still in a dreamlike state, so I couldn't move. I thought that was quite natural considering that someone had just hacked my study card, so I lay in my bed drifting continously in and out of sleep. I woke up by the mailman ringing the door bell to my apartment. And like usual I remembered what I had dreamt, but I was still quite shocked at the absurdity of this particular dream. Even though my usual midday naps are normally weird, this one beats them by orders of magnitude :P.

Well, that was it for today's dream. I got about 10 pages of reading done here in the evening, and I'm quite proud of that. I know I'll have to read actively this week because of not so much time in the weekend, so it's a good start!

On Wednesday I'm going to a Christmas fair, yay :D! Looking forward to that! Other than that, I don't think there's much else to say about my day. Oh yes, I got quite negatively surprised at my incredibly low salary (after taxes that is) but I'm not sure if I'll get some of the money back from the government since I don't think I have to pay full taxes when I don't earn that much. I'll have to ask some people about this though. I really am clueless about tax issues :P. Well, that should be it! I'll be going to bed soon.

Sweet dreams!

Searching the fort

2008-12-07T23:09:00.001+01:00

Today was nothing really special I'm afraid. I somehow managed to read really effectively right after breakfast by doing it in the living room instead of my bedroom. I guess it's because I don't get distracted or want to fall asleep there. I guess I've found my own little study room :P. Nevertheless I can't remember a lot of the stuff I've read because, well, it's some really weird names and I didn't take the time to come up with mnemonics for everything. Ah well, those quizzes are only for ourselves anyway.

At around 3 o'clock I decided it was my last chance to go geocaching (it gets dark shortly after 4 here in Denmark) so I biked to a really old fort that was really well hidden behind a circle of houses. It was really a cool place, and I would have never guessed it was there. It's sort of lowered into what could have been a huge empty lake, and the houses all around entirely prevent you from seeing it. And it's not because the fort is small or anything. It's huge. And it continues a long way underground. The hint for this cache was "find it on your way up or down", and I had guessed it meant it was close to some stairs. And the coordinates fitted with a pair of wooden stairs leading onto a huge area covered with grass and trees. This was actually the roof of the fort. Yes, there were trees. See how big it was :P? Anyway, at this time it was too dark to really see a lot and I tried searching a bit with my hands but to no avail. I ended up using my bike light as a flashlight. Hurray for improvising! And I ended up finding the medium-sized box hidden in an alcove set into the rocks of the fort, partly hidden by the mounting stairs. Very well hidden. It's really a great feeling finding these hidden treasures. The feeling of finding something that's meant for you in the middle of nowhere put there by someone you don't know. You should try it sometime!

I didn't really get to wrap up any gifts today (lazy, lazy :P) but I managed to put the present on my living room table, so now they're there waiting for me. I wonder how I will get trhough next week. In the weekend I won't have much time (making cakes and bowling :P) and then there's the wrapping of gifts, reading (not complaing!), buying food, badminton, sleeping, enjoying life ( =) ) and uhm.. yeah you know, all the usual :P.

Well, tomorrow it's up at 6 in the morning, so I'd better wrap it up here. Goodnight!

Scooters, holidays and autumn

2008-12-06T21:00:00.002+01:00

Today was GOOD =). My newspaper rounds went remarkably painfree and a woman even gave me a huge clementine. It didn't rain and that made it a hundred times easier. I think this job can actually be enjoyed once all the right conditions are met :D. And I'm getting real pro at handling all the papers. Every week is actually a challenge in finding the right way to pack the ads the right way for getting it through the letter boxes as efficiently as possible. Yeah, you'll probably have to try it yourself to see what I mean. I've gotten a lot of respect for postmen this last month. Letters don't just magically appear in your letter box. Real people traversing all sorts of perils actually bring them to you. Even if you live at the edge of the world in a 150-storey building and it's raining like the sky was falling down. Think about that =).

Wondering about the titles of my posts? This one is from the suggested labels for posts in the bottom of the posting screen. Yes, to answer, they're quite random. It's whatever I hear/see/think/feel right before writing the post.

I didn't get to wrap up any gifts yet. I'll try to do it tomorrow!

Responsibility? Does that come with salad?

2008-12-05T23:20:00.010+01:00

A short day today. Finally got to sleep late (I get to do that every Friday every second week) . So for ONCE I actually had a lot of energy. I didn't take a nap today at all :D.

Tomorrow is newspaper delivery day, yay (should be read with complete lack of enthousiasm). I have to get up really early. As long as it doesn't rain I should be able to manage. And of course they've promised showers tomorrow.

I went for a two-hour shift today in our student bar. A lot of people there today. The ones studying physical education (university-level) were having their christmas dinner, and like is custom in Denmark, they drunk a small lake's worth of alcohol. 400 alcoholic drinks already sold by 16.00. Yes.

I'm looking forward to Sunday in two weeks. That's right. It's my birthday. And that also means its soon christmas. And usually christmas rocks big time. And then comes new year. Which will be quite different this year. I haven't got any final plans yet although I've been invited to three different things. Oh, and by the way. Those green highlights aren't random.

I've begun playing an online game called Shin Megami Tensei Imagine Online when I have time. It's so long since I last played an online game, and this one is really different. If you've tried a game in the series Persona then it's from that. You don't have to shoot yourself in the head with a gun to summon your monster companions though (yes, you actually had to do that in the games. don't believe me? look here).

And I'd also like to propose a toast to the penguins. Some of you even compare to ducks. Where would we be without you?

It's past midnight now and I'm getting very tired. It's been a tough week with lots of sleeping, reading and freezing. Now it's time to take it (relatively) easy this weekend. Wrap some gifts for christmas and read a bit (NOT only biochemistry :P). Also probably go biking and finding some geocaches. I'm looking forward to it =).

I'd like to end this post with four random quotes celebrating today's sign: beer.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
"24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"I got so drunk one night I waited for the STOP sign to change. And it did."

I feel like abusing the word "China"

2008-12-04T17:44:00.008+01:00

Greetings! Nothing much happened today. Except something completely extraordinary.

I did not fall asleep a single time today. And didn't feel tired during lectures and calculation classes. Coffee (yes, I know, I gave in to it..) can do WONDERS! Now I can finally catch up with my reading!

It's quite cool, I'm slowly beginning to understand how the body metabolises food and uses it to make all sorts of things. And it makes me wonder what kind of a freak metabolism I have. I can't get fat no matter how much or what I eat. Perhaps I have some kind of hyperoverproductive enzyme that refuses to store fats and instead use them for some mysterious other purpose. I'm definetely not complaining about this freak enzyme, it just makes you wonder what it is that actually makes such a difference. I'm beginning to think like a real biochemist now :P. I will never be the same agan, muahaha :D. Ok, enough with that.

I realise again that I forgot to post what I promised yesterday. So I'll post the translation to that dutch letter now (phew, that took a little time, Dutch is very differently built up than English):

Dear Son,

I'm writing this letter to you to let you know that I'm writing to you. If you've got this letter, you received it. If you don't receive it, then please return it to me, so I can send it to you once again. I'm writing this letter very slowly, as I know, you can't read that quickly.

The other day your Dad read somewhere that most accidents occur less than one kilometre from the home. We've therefore decided to move and live a place that's further away. It's a wonderful house, with a built-in washing machine. I just still don't know exactly how it work, because yesterday I put the laundry into it and flushed. I haven't seen the laundry since. But well..

The weather's not so bad. Last week it only rained twice: The first time it lasted 3 days, and the second time it lasted 4 days.

Concerning the coat I bought you: Uncle Jef told me, that the buttons are too heavy, so it's going to cost more to send it to you. That's why I've removed the buttons and put them into the pockets of the coat.

Your granddad has been buried in the meantime. We found his body by chance in connection with the moving: He had been sitting hidden in the closet since last time we played hide and seek. On the other hand, we haven't seen uncle Isidor since he died last year either.

Not so long ago we had a gas explosion in the kitchen, so your Dad and me were flung out of the house together. What an event: It's the first time in years that we've been out of the house together.

Now that we're speaking about your Dad: He got a promotion at work and is really proud. He now has 500 people under him. Now he cuts the grass at the graveyard.

Your sister Julia, you know, the one who's married to her husband, has become pregnant. We still don't know if it's a girl or a boy though. Consequently, I can't tell you if you've become an aunt or an uncle. If it turns out to be a girl, your sister will name her after me. It's a bit weird to call your child "Mum". Your other sister, Mia, has also been pregnant for 5 months. You know she's a very loose girl, that's why I asked her, if she was sure that the child really was hers.

Last week, your brother Kristian had closed the car door and accidently left his key in the ignition. He had to take the bus all the way home to fetch the reserve car cars so he could get us out of the car.

And so my son, I won't write our new address on the cover of the letter, for the reason that I don't know it. The previous owners took the house number with them to put it up at their new house.

If you should run into Marianne, greet her many times from us. If you don't see her then don't say anything to her.

PS: I thought I would send some more money with this letter, but then I had already sealed the envelope.

Greetings from Mum!

On my way home I remember

2008-12-03T19:34:00.004+01:00

Today was sort of floating, so it'll be a compact blog entry (symbolising no connection between anything today :P). Nothing really special happened. I'm afraid someone is angry at me, and I don't really know why. And I don't know what to do about it, but I'm sure it will be alright. I fell asleep again once I got home (STUPID..) and I once again had completely fucked up dreams. I remember dreaming about two people from university sitting together with my dad and he told me that they didn't know the difference between Swedish and Norwegian and that meant they were stupid. I told him that that was not the case and he started reading a letter aloud for me that made no sense at all. I can't remember its contents. I finally managed to wash all my clothes today (our washing machines have been down for a week, while they were being replaced). I accidently coloured all my handkerchiefs a deep shade of blue by washing it together with my blue bed sheets. Not the best idea.. But at least it wasn't anything worse than handkerchiefs =). I managed to read a bit today, and I think I'll read more tonight. And I promise I'll try not to complain about not having time to read from now on. That should be all for today. Over and out!

Longer yet, further still!

2008-12-02T21:11:00.004+01:00

No real news today. Got to use some English again, speaking with some friends still in Belgium by voice. It was nice, but I'm afraid I'm getting a bit rusty, even though it might just be a result of me being tired = muchos gibberish.

I spoke with my mum today as well. She came home yesterday from hospital. I learned too that she had been in much more danger than I had been told. Well, at least there's no danger anymore. I'm looking forward to seeing her for christmas, even though she says I'll probably be a bit shocked to see her now. She lost over 10 kg lying in hospital and gets very easily tired now. But this episode has got her permanently off smoking, and she'll get better soon. So it's a good thing the worst is over now!

I've been playing a bit of a psychologist today as well for someone else, but I guess it's private stuff so I won't write about it here. Why do I so often find myself with so many other people's problems on my mind.. I'm not complaining, I guess it must be something good that so many people are able to confide in me.

It's my birthday soon. I'm organising something for the day. I need to find a bowling alley not too far from here and reserve two lanes for the day. I really need to pull myself together and get it done soon :P. My dreams are getting weirder too. I'm dreaming stuff about people from the university that really are "wtf" worthy. I even have dreams where I "remember" things that have never happened. It's a really strange feeling. I'm sure you've tried it in a dream. Where you're so sure that something has happened in the past, and that it's completely real. And when you wake up you think, "uhm.. where the hell did that come from?" :P.

I also found a letter I once translated from Dutch to Danish. I'll translate it to English tomorrow and post it here. It's kind of fun.

I'll end this entry with some cryptic thing I found in a document. I think I wrote it myself once. If you understand it feel free to leave a comment. To be honest, it's kind of scary and I can't remember writing it.. It was written next to two phone numbers that I have never called.

This is a memory. Maybe I'll write this to the end. Using others as a projection for my own mistakes is not the right thing to do. That is why I have to either succeed or fail with all of those consequences. I don't think it will ever happen, but all good things come to an end. I can't even realise myself. No reason for these feelings, but I can't control it. My future is very uncertain if I don't find myself soon. I wish everything was safe and known. This way I would always know the right way to do things. But it would be a world without excitement, I guess. But do I really need that? Some would say yes. Because their excitement is generally positive. I don't like reality. Some day I have to face it though and it's slowly happening now. At least I'm trying.

Weird

2008-12-01T21:26:00.005+01:00

Something's wrong. I can feel it. I have no idea what it is, but something isn't right. And I'm afraid I'll find out what it is soon. It's really weird..

This morning, I woke up about 10 minutes before my bus left for university, and it normally takes me ten minutes to get to the bus stop. But guess what. Without breakfast, shower, superhuman speed dressing, a lot of running and motivation in the form of a girl calling me and telling me I had to (and I quote): "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND RUN!!" I actually made it. I was quite surprised too. Yeah, today was weird.

Other than that it was a ridiculous day in the sense of catching up with reading. I'm quite annoyed at myself. I fell asleep for 3 hours when I came home. Then I went Christmas shopping, and I've got all the pressing things bought now. I got my parents the fourth season of Lost (which the whole family has been watching up until now) and I got my father two football books of the year 2008 for his birthday. I'm quite sure they'll be happy for the gifts. I just hope they don't find this blog, or it won't be a surprise anymore :P. That would be kinda weird.

I'm allowed to make personal withdrawels from my bank account now, so that's where I got the money from (about time). But I've decided to lay off my spending big time, and actually make a budget. I can't really do the budget before January next year (since taxes won't kick in before then) but I'm spending an absolute minimum now. Water is not so bad after all =). And pretty soon I'll probably be discovering the wonders of instant coffee and tea :P. It's weird thinking of myself becoming a coffeine addict all of a sudden, so I hope it doesn't go that far.

Today I've only managed to read 7 pages in the book, but I'll try to read more later. The quiz today didn't go so well. I made some pretty stupid mistakes. But well, it's only as a reference to ourselves so we can see our level. I don't actually think our marks are ever written down. Weird.

And. I want to go to Egypt. I saw some pictures of people who had been on holiday in Egypt and it looked so cool! I want to see sphinxes and pyramids :P. Going to Peru is a priority as well of course. The only problem is getting the funding =).. But I guess it would be weird for a first-year student to be able to finance some extraordinarily exotic voyage, like I want to go on. So I guess I'll have to wait a few years before undertaking such endeavours. (Did you notice that? I didn't use a certian word in this paragraph's last sentence. Which, according to some, might actually be this one. Wow, that was weird!)

I saw an ad for a Christmas present consisting of a roll of toilet paper all filled with sudoku grids. For the real sudoku fanatics who can't stop doing them even when they're going to the toilet. "Mum, dad has been in the toilet for 3 hours straight now, and I really have to go, and I'm afraid there'll be no toilet paper left for me when he's finished =(!" Weird thought, isn't it.

I'd better stop now. People would think I was writing a whole novel by now.

And wouldn't that be weird =)?

I art Cookie

2008-11-30T19:52:00.003+01:00

Yes. Today was really really great :D. I went to the Christmas dinner today, and it was really fun. They have the coolest new dog, and they're really great to talk to. I even got a contact at the pharmaceutical university (an American lector) who promised me lunch and wanted to show me around the faculty. She said she might even help me with books! So cool. I also got a ton of cookies (literally, they filled my whole backpack up with different kind of cookies made from American recepies), so I won't need snacks for a month now =)!

Tomorrow is a new week. Not looking forward to all the reading I need to get done. I need to find the time to post that letter I got from the city hall and send it to my parents in Belgium. My dad seems to be getting impatient about it already, even though it's only a few days since I got it signed. Ah well. I'm too tired to write much more.

Cya!